Because of the Black Lives Matter movement, Hollywood has finally started to make some changes and also take a Magic Eraser to racist messiness from its past. HBO Max put a disclaimer in front of Gone with the Wind, Tina Fey got the streamers to pull four episodes of 30 Rock with blackface in it, and Kristen Bell and Jenny Slate announced they were no longer going to voice Black cartoon characters. And now Disney-ABC has taken performative allyship to new levels of HUH? by coming for a “make” moment in The Golden Girls. They have pulled an episode over “blackface.” Megyn Kelly has said that she’s a huge fan of Golden Girls, so as a fan of both the show and also of blackface, this must really be something she feels passionately about.
Thanks to the Black Lives Matter movement, people have called for the banishment of statues of racists, HBO Max is including a special introduction about race with their showing of Gone with the Wind, Lady Antebellum changed their name to Lady A (or as we know them as, Lady Ay!LearnHowToFuckingGoogle), and now Quaker Oats is finally retiring Aunt Jemima for being a racist stereotype. “May we suggest that you just change her name to Aunt J?” said the re-branding experts known as Lady A(ntebellum).
Remember how Megyn Kelly almost died from a severe case of losing her shit over HBO Max temporarily removing Gone With The Wind? Well, a whole five days later and Megyn can finally un-bunch her shit-filled panties because it’s coming back. Oh but wait, it will now include an intro from a Black woman who will explain its “historical context.” Megyn’s shit-filled panties just bunched right back up!
I know we’re used to seeing Megyn Kelly trade in bad faith arguments and body-slamming strawmen, but I dare say, she’s finally using her energy to fight for something real. According to CNN, HBO Max has decided to temporarily remove Gone With The Wind from its streaming service. And based on the level of Megyn’s outrage, I must conclude that HBO also plans on rounding up every single copy of the film, from every other service and also from all the world’s libraries, sending jackbooted men into people’s homes to collect their personal copies on DVD, VHS, laser-disc and hard drive, and hypnotizing every memaw and antebellum aesthete (first they came for Blake Lively, and I said nothing) to erase all memory of the film. And frankly, that’s not the America I want to live in. Yes, GWTW is trash, but what HBO is proposing is taking things too far.
The internet’s most annoying and misleading hashtag convention, #[fillintheblank]isoverparty, strikes again. Every time I see that hashtag I try to ignore it but know that by the end of the day morbid curiosity will eventually lead me to clicking on it only to be disappointed to find out that [fillintheblank] farted on a kitten or something equally banal. Today it was the end of Jimmy Fallon’s career that was being smugly and gleefully celebrated on Twitter after a 20-year old clip of him doing a Chris Rock impression in full blackface on Saturday Night Live resurfaced. According to The New York Post, the clip was posted with the caption “NBC fired Megyn Kelly for mentioning blackface. Jimmy Fallon performed on NBC in blackface,” which is simply exhausting. With everything going on in #thesesupremelyfuckeduptimes, re-litigating blackface is definitely a party I’m not RSVPing to, I don’t care how socially distanced it is. I’m so very tired.
As if our current national discourse in #thesetryingtimes wasn’t breathtakingly stupid enough as it is, Megyn Kelly, America’s least qualified practitioner of critical race theory has come out of retirement to complain loudly about being fired for defending blackface. After Robert Downey Jr. said he didn’t regret doing blackface for Tropic Thunder during an interview on The Joe Rogan Experience, Megyn #tooktotwitter to bemoan the fact that Universal applauded RDJ for sparking a “necessary convo” but fired her for doing the same. Friends, this shit is so dumb, it’s difficult to even know where to start. Like, I almost want to start by reminding you that, per Megyn’s Twitter bio, her children are named Yates, Yardley, and Thatcher. It’s as relevant as anything Megyn had to say, if not more!