Category: Make That Money

Open Post: Hosted By The Man Who Found A $47,000 Ring With His Metal Detector

November 19, 2022 / Posted by:

While we were all out busy buying losing lotto tickets, hoping to win that $2 billion and dreaming of telling our bosses, “See ya, suckers!” some people were putting their noses to the grindstone and earning a cool $47,000. Englishman David Board went for a stroll one day with his metal detector and, after hearing some beeping, came across a priceless gold ring worth almost $50,000. Who knew walking around aimlessly in a field would lead to a lucrative payday?

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Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, And Taylor Swift Are All Teaming Up With Fast Food Chains

November 10, 2021 / Posted by:

‘Tis the season for corporations to shove themselves down our throats to remind us they exist and please, please, PLEASE, don’t blow all of your hard-earned dollars on butt plug stocking stuffers, save some cash for them!!! And what better way to get our attention than with celebrity partnerships? Enter Mariah Carey for McDonald’s, Justin Bieber for Tim Hortons, and Taylor Swift for Starbucks. All three are collaborating with their chains on special menu items and promotions.

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“Dune” Made More Money Than Expected This Weekend

October 25, 2021 / Posted by:

I guess you could say that it’s dune some decent box office numbers. All jokes aside, Dune is dune some major dollars, and actually broke some records this weekend (my last dune joke, I promise). According to Deadline, Denis Villeneuve’s adaptation of the confusing, weird novel of the same name had a huge opening weekend for Warner Bros. and HBO Max. Not bad for a movie about…let’s see here…sand? Spices? A worm that looks like it should seriously schedule a colonoscopy? Timothée Chalamet brooding in a variety of drab outfits? Yeah, that pretty much sums it all up. Oh, and congrats to Timmy as well, who also broke some box office records this weekend.

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JoJo Siwa Has Accused Nickelodeon Of Treating Her Like A Brand, Not A Human

September 15, 2021 / Posted by:

Uh oh, the day Nickelodeon executives and account managers were dreading has finally arrived. JoJo Siwa has become self-aware! Nickelodeon’s Gak-scented boardroom table has probably been overturned in a fit of mass hysteria, as one of their most profitable sources of revenue just came to the realization that Nickelodeon might have been looking at her and seeing a glitter-covered dollar sign and not a glitter-covered human being.

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Kanye West Might Be Thinking Of Launching A Cosmetics Line

June 15, 2020 / Posted by:

Before today, I didn’t know where Kanye West stood on cosmetics, besides the fact that he doesn’t like it on his child. If I had to guess what Kanye thought about makeup, based on past behavior, I probably would have assumed he’d say something like, “The only blinding highlight you need is the illumination from Jesus Christ’s glowing halo” or a confusing non-sequitur about eyebrows. Until today, the only contour I’d associate with Kanye is if he took his Sunday Service scam on the road. Get it? Con tour? The point here is that Kanye has filed a trademark update on his Yeezy brand to include beauty and skincare products.

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Cristiano Ronaldo Is Football’s First Billionaire

June 9, 2020 / Posted by:

I don’t know much about football, besides the fact that it can also be called soccer, and that if you want to gamble on football, your best sports betting resource used to be an octopus. But I also know some less-interesting football facts, like that one of the sport’s most famous players is Cristiano Ronaldo. And now I also know that Cristiano Ronaldo is the first football player to reach billionaire status. Whip out your loudest vuvuzela and celebrate! Go ahead and blow as loud as you can, I’m sure Cristiano can afford the best noise-canceling earplugs that money can buy.

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