Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, And Taylor Swift Are All Teaming Up With Fast Food Chains

November 10, 2021 / Posted by:

‘Tis the season for corporations to shove themselves down our throats to remind us they exist and please, please, PLEASE, don’t blow all of your hard-earned dollars on butt plug stocking stuffers, save some cash for them!!! And what better way to get our attention than with celebrity partnerships? Enter Mariah Carey for McDonald’s, Justin Bieber for Tim Hortons, and Taylor Swift for Starbucks. All three are collaborating with their chains on special menu items and promotions.

First up, the Elusive Chanteuse herself, Ms. Mariah Carey. McDonald’s is launching a “Mariah Menu,” which will run for the 12 Days of Christmas (December 13 to the 25), and feature different free items with a $1 minimum purchase on the company’s app. These items will include Mariah’s favorites, such as the classic cheeseburger and soft-baked chocolate chip cookies, and will be designed with “fun and festive packaging”: Mariah says, via Variety:

“Some of my favorite memories with my kids are our family trips to McDonald’s, and of course, each of us has our go-to order. Mine is the cheeseburger, and I get it with extra pickles,” Carey revealed. “Bringing together some of our favorite food from McDonald’s with my all-time favorite season is a holiday wish come true.”

I’m totally with her on the extra pickles. Here’s what Mariah posted to Instagram:

 

And here’s what McDonald’s posted on their Twitter:

Apparently, Mimi walking out of the ocean like Godzilla (ft. a post-global warming McDonald’s) is possibly a reference to this meme:

OK, sure! Next up is Taylor Swift for Starbucks. This one’s not official, but Swifties believe it’s happening because of online Easter eggs and insider info. On Monday Starbucks tweeted:

Might this be a reference to the upcoming release of the album Red (Taylor’s Version)? Starbucks denied it in follow-up tweets, claiming they were just referencing their red cups. But People reports that sources claim that “Taylor’s drink,” a grande caramel nonfat latte, will be available Friday, the same day the Red re-release comes out.

A Taylor Swift fan account, the Swift Society, posted a newsletter that reportedly went out to baristas about the collaboration. It says that in addition to a special drink, stores will play Taylor’s music on Friday, and drink labels will be labeled “Tay’s”:

Some rando online cried, “PHONY!” and the official Starbucks Twitter account replied with some Taylor Swift reference I’m simply too lazy to Google:

 

Taylor also included a Starbucks beverage in her video tribute to “basic autumn lovers” back in October:

So, yeah, the collaboration is probably happening. I don’t know why it needs to be a surprise, cuz, honestly, who cares? NEXT!

Taylor’s sworn enemy, Justin Bieber, is shilling for Tim Horton’s. Today it was announced these two Canuck powerhouses have joined forces to collaborate on a series of “new menu innovations and co-branded merchandise” which will drop November 29 (via People):

“Doing a Tim Hortons collab has always been a dream of mine,” the “Peaches” singer said in a statement. “I grew up on Tim Hortons and it’s always been something close to my heart.”

Fans can get the first taste of the partnership with the launch of Timbiebs Timbits, a limited-edition selection of the brand’s beloved donut holes.

Bieber — who, according to a press release, told Tim Hortons that Timbits are his favorite items on the menu — helped the brand’s Director of Culinary Innovation experiment with different flavor combinations and recipes until they landed on chocolate white fudge, sour cream chocolate chip, and birthday cake waffle.

Here’s Justin coming up with his three “unique flavors” with a Canadian commercial actress who likely wasn’t paid shit a Timmie’s executive:

What bullshit. We all know a brainstorming meeting with the Biebs would go a little something like this:

So, those are your three latest celebrity/fast food collabs. Up next… Ben Affleck for Dunkin’ Donuts! Sigh… someday. Someday.

Pics: YouTube/Instagram

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