Yep, that sounds about right. Roaring fires decimating thousands of acres of land, a global pandemic showing little to no sign of slowing down, and Trump continuing to Trump. Why not just add flying toilets to complete the shit trifecta that is 2020? At this point, could you really expect anything less? Literal flying shit…I mean, honestly, what took you so long, 2020?
The messy, California King-sized bed full of human shit was the Johnny Depp–Amber Heard marriage is going to release noxious fumes into the atmosphere for longer than anybody anticipated––at least five months longer, after Virginia Circuit Court Chief Judge, Bruce White, agreed to Johnny’s original request to have his $50 million defamation suit against ex-wife, Amber Heard, postponed due to his commitment to filming Fantastic Beasts 3. But not for that reason. And not because of Amber’s commitment, as she countered, to filming Aquaman 2. Instead, this judge claims that the reason he’s granting the move is because of COVID, and nothing else.
Johnny Depp Has Asked For A Postponement On His Upcoming Trial Against Amber Heard So He Can Work On “Fantastic Beasts 3”
The mudslinging between Johnny Depp and his ex-wife Amber Heard only recently came to an end with the conclusion of his libel trial against The Sun, yet Johnny and Amber are scheduled to go another round in Virginia for his $50 million defamation lawsuit against her. And by mud I obviously mean human feces, allegedly extruded out of Amber’s very own sphincter. However, according to Deadline, Johnny has requested a postponement of his upcoming stateside trial so he can go to work filming Fantastic Beasts 3, a kids movie written by a woman obsessed with genitalia! You don’t get to call your ex an unfaithful, bed-shitting, “gold-digging flappy fish market” in open court for free. That shit takes Hollywood money!
The online rollout of Corey Feldman’s TRUTHBOMB documentary (my) TRUTH: The Rape of 2 Coreys went about as smoothly as you’d expect. Corey’s been selling $20 tickets for weeks, promising exclusive access to watch a “live one-time worldwide event screening” which was supposed to happen last night. However, according to Corey, hackers and the nefarious entity he calls “the wolf pack“, were hard at work trying to prevent (his) TRUTH from getting out. It looks like nobody who paid money to see this was actually able to access the stream. However, according to Entertainment Weekly, the film was also shown “to a group of friends and members of the media” at a screening in Los Angeles, so we do know what was revealed. Which is not much that hasn’t already been out there for years.
Go ahead and put September 13 in your calendar now as the date you absolutely 100% need to stay home and wash your hair, your American Girl Doll’s hair, your cat’s hair, your neighbor’s hair, all the hair, because September 13 is the first confirmed date of the just announced Chris Brown and Nicki Minaj joint Summer/Fall tour. Just when you didn’t think the world could get a little more Ew, No or WTF?, a planned tour between Chris Brown and Nicki Minaj goes and happens.
During his first public appearance after he claimed he was attacked by racist, homophobic, MAGA-loving thugs, Jussie Smollett took to the stage and declared himself “the Gay Tupac”. Well, according to this morning’s press conference held by Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson, it would have been more accurate to call himself the “black Keyser Söze” (the “gay Keyser Söze” was, of course, already taken by Kevin Spacey, and Jussie’s career is probably about to have similar trajectory).