At last, we have a national crisis that doesn’t involve the potential loss of life, the unraveling of a nation, or any criminal activity more serious than possible petty theft. Lenny Kravitz has lost his sunglasses (I inadvertently just typed his name as “Lenny Sunglasses” and that’s what we should all call him moving forward). Lenny #TookToTwitter with a plea for help in finding his lost sunnies which came up missing after a recent gig. It seems like Lenny’s always losing track of things at gigs. Jesus, he’d probably lose his dick if it wasn’t attached to him!
Here’s Lenny’s cry for help.
I’m missing this pair of sunglasses after my show in LA at the Shrine this weekend. They are incredibly sentimental to me, they are vintage and they belonged to a family member. Hoping to get them back, no questions asked. Any information please email [email protected] pic.twitter.com/vXQY1ZKD1i
— Lenny Kravitz (@LennyKravitz) September 23, 2019
I know Lenny Sunglasses owns a lot of sunglasses, but these ones are sentimental. As a nation, we should all do Lenny a solid and help find his sunglasses. It feels like an achievable goal, and imagine how satisfying if would be if a grassroots movement to find Lenny Sunglasses’ sunglasses ultimately resulted in the safe return of Lenny’s sunglasses? It would be better than V-J Day. We could call it V-LS Day and celebrate in the streets by kicking up our heels and (consensually) kissing strangers.
In #thesetryingtimes, we may feel a little helpless in the face of the mass corruption, unchecked capitalism, and malicious rhetoric we’re exposed to on a daily basis, but if we can do something to help out our fellow man, we should. At least this one fellow man in particular.
I mean, just look how sad Lenny is without them. You can take his shirt, his shoes, his socks, and every ounce of belly fat covering his abdominal area, but for the love of God – whatever you do, don’t take away Lenny’s sunnies!
Now if everybody could just take a moment out of their day to just look around a little, that would be great. I looked around this morning, but didn’t see them. However, I did find a set of keys I thought I lost 3 years ago and a Home Depot gift card with a $7.96 balance still on it, so it was worth the effort. Come on, have a look. It can’t hurt. If you don’t want to do it for Lenny Sunglasses, at least do it for America.