Category: Quarantine

Nicole Kidman’s Publicist Swears She And Keith Urban Are Not Breaking A “Mandatory” Australian Quarantine

July 29, 2020 / Posted by:

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban caught hell recently for flying from Nashville to Australia and avoiding the mandatory coronavirus quarantine of staying in a government-managed hotel. Instead of quarantining in a hotel, they quarantined in their mansion. People shook their heads at that because the government stated that the hotel quarantine is mandatory and very few exceptions will be allowed. Well, Nicole’s rep is denying that she and Keith got around the “mandatory” quarantine and claim total innocence! I don’t know… do we believe it? She wasn’t on a show called Big Little Truths

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Tokyo Has Opened A “Social Distancing” Cafe

May 14, 2020 / Posted by:

Kotaku says that Japan is ahead of the cafe game, as usual. The place that brought us hedgehog cafes, ninja cafes, maid cafes, vampire cafes, cat cafes, maid cafes, and “kawaii monster” cafes now has the next evolution in cafe-ing. Businesses have to adjust to our new coronavirus plague-ridden way of life and so Japan has created their very own “social distancing cafe.” Do you want to go out but also stay the fuck away from people? This Marie Antoinette schoolhouse-looking cafe is for you!

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Robert Pattison Took His Own Pictures For His GQ Cover And Nearly Started A Fire In His “Batman” House Kitchen

May 12, 2020 / Posted by:

It’s mid-March and things in Quoronatine (™) are starting to get weird. GQ made Robert Pattison take his own pictures for the June/July cover and the interview was conducted by phone and over the internet. Throughout the interview, Rob was really playing up the whole “man goes slowly crazy in isolation” angle even though he’s in London living with his girlfriend (probably Suki Waterhouse) in a house provided by “the Batman folks,” eating weird food provided by “the Batman folks,” but refusing to do his prescribed workouts. Rob says he’s already “totally lost all sense of time” and nearly burned down his very nice kitchen by putting aluminum foil in a microwave while trying to demonstrate how to make a handheld pasta monstrosity he’s developed in hopes of filling a pasta shaped hole in the fast-food industry. But the joke’s on us. This interview was conducted in April and Rob probably got the idea for this tortured bit of performance art from watching the Calzone Zone episode of Parks and Rec. Despite looking like the disheveled corpse of a mid-range gigolo, Rob is fine.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Robot Dogs Of Singapore

May 11, 2020 / Posted by:

Well guys, it’s official. The end times are here. A disease is attacking the planet and forcing humanity into shelter and now, because we love to speed up our own destruction, there are robot dogs in Singapore that were supposedly created to help us with social distancing. The current state of this world really is a really long Black Mirror episode.

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Kim Kardashian And Kanye West Are Reportedly “Staying At Opposite Ends Of The House” As They Fight During Quarantine

May 11, 2020 / Posted by:

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have been quarantining in their incredibly inviting and homey-feeling lair, which is void of life and personality (like the Kardashians!), and it’s starting to get to them. Last month, Kanye supposedly took their kidsNorth, Chicago, Saint, and Psalm, to their ranch in Wyoming, so that he could give Kim a break from her duties of supervising a crew of nannies. Well, now sources have spoken to The Sun and they say that shit is getting even more real between Kim and Kanye. Hey those Botox and attention withdrawals must be hitting her hard!

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Wendy Williams Thinks That Other Stay-At-Home TV Hosts Look “Disgusting”

May 10, 2020 / Posted by:

How you doin’? More like, what you thinking? Some of you lazy television show slobs working from home have been literally and figuratively phoning it in for weeks now, and it shows. That’s according to the effortlessly chic and stunning natural beauty Wendy Williams who had something to say about the lack of glamour on our screens right now. Glass houses, throw stones, etc….

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