Category: Quarantine

Kelly Clarkson Wants To Change Her Name to “Kelly Brianne” And Jokes That She’s “Broken” While Quarantining At Home With Her Kids

February 18, 2022 / Posted by:

Thanks to her contentious divorce from Brandon Blackstock, Kelly Clarkson’s life has changed pretty dramatically during the pandemic.  Now she wants to make another big change: her name. Entertainment Tonight reports that on Monday, Kelly requested to legally change her name to “Kelly Brianne,” which is her first name (duh) and middle name. In court docs, Kelly says she has a “desire” to do this because “my new name more fully reflects who I am.” And who is this updated version of Kelly? Well, if you’ve been watching The Kelly Clarkson Show earlier this week, you’ll know she is a “broken” woman who’s losing her mind while quarantining at home with her kids. Thought and prayers to Kelly Brianne! Continue reading

“Bridgerton” Is Among Several Shows That Had To Be Shut Down Due To COVID-19 Outbreaks

July 19, 2021 / Posted by:

Not that it matters since we’re all probably going to be dead next year anyway but production on season 2 of Bridgerton has been halted indefinitely due to the ongoing pandemic that is determined to see us all dead by next year. According to Deadline, for the second time in a week, Netflix has had to shut down production on its big butts and bustles blockbuster due to a positive COVID-19 test. Bridgerton shoots in England where two other productions, Netflix’s Matilda based on the Broadway musical and HBO’s Game Of Thrones prequel House of The Dragon, have also been shut down due to COVID. At this rate, the surviving population of the coronapocalypse is going to have nothing but reruns of the Friends reunion to watch next season and that’s only if they can fend off the parasitic mutant anti-vaxxers who roam the wasteland in search of a host.

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Nicole Kidman’s Publicist Swears She And Keith Urban Are Not Breaking A “Mandatory” Australian Quarantine

July 29, 2020 / Posted by:

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban caught hell recently for flying from Nashville to Australia and avoiding the mandatory coronavirus quarantine of staying in a government-managed hotel. Instead of quarantining in a hotel, they quarantined in their mansion. People shook their heads at that because the government stated that the hotel quarantine is mandatory and very few exceptions will be allowed. Well, Nicole’s rep is denying that she and Keith got around the “mandatory” quarantine and claim total innocence! I don’t know… do we believe it? She wasn’t on a show called Big Little Truths

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Tokyo Has Opened A “Social Distancing” Cafe

May 14, 2020 / Posted by:

Kotaku says that Japan is ahead of the cafe game, as usual. The place that brought us hedgehog cafes, ninja cafes, maid cafes, vampire cafes, cat cafes, maid cafes, and “kawaii monster” cafes now has the next evolution in cafe-ing. Businesses have to adjust to our new coronavirus plague-ridden way of life and so Japan has created their very own “social distancing cafe.” Do you want to go out but also stay the fuck away from people? This Marie Antoinette schoolhouse-looking cafe is for you!

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Robert Pattinson Took His Own Pictures For His GQ Cover And Nearly Started A Fire In His “Batman” House Kitchen

May 12, 2020 / Posted by:

It’s mid-March and things in Quoronatine (™) are starting to get weird. GQ made Robert Pattinson take his own pictures for the June/July cover and the interview was conducted by phone and over the internet. Throughout the interview, Rob was really playing up the whole “man goes slowly crazy in isolation” angle even though he’s in London living with his girlfriend (probably Suki Waterhouse) in a house provided by “the Batman folks,” eating weird food provided by “the Batman folks,” but refusing to do his prescribed workouts. Rob says he’s already “totally lost all sense of time” and nearly burned down his very nice kitchen by putting aluminum foil in a microwave while trying to demonstrate how to make a handheld pasta monstrosity he’s developed in hopes of filling a pasta shaped hole in the fast-food industry. But the joke’s on us. This interview was conducted in April and Rob probably got the idea for this tortured bit of performance art from watching the Calzone Zone episode of Parks and Rec. Despite looking like the disheveled corpse of a mid-range gigolo, Rob is fine.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Robot Dogs Of Singapore

May 11, 2020 / Posted by:

Well guys, it’s official. The end times are here. A disease is attacking the planet and forcing humanity into shelter and now, because we love to speed up our own destruction, there are robot dogs in Singapore that were supposedly created to help us with social distancing. The current state of this world really is a really long Black Mirror episode.

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