Dolly Parton is, as always, pure perfection. Her love for all things shiny and tight, makes me miss the CMA red carpets of old. But of course, nostalgia is a big theme in country music, and the red carpet of this year’s CMA Awards is making me nostalgic as hell for a time before Hollywood muscled its way into Nashville and diluted its rugged charm with the likes of Gigi Hadid. WHY WAS SHE THERE?!
These country music stars are just not wilin’ out like they used to. This year’s red carpet at the Country Music Association Awards was tamer ‘enna a mule caught a nibblin’ in the marijuana patch. In fact, the only person on the red carpet to go full Nudie was the yodeling Walmart kid, who I guess is country famous now. You know, I yodeled in a Walmart once and never got invited to the CMAs. Of course I was yodeling through there with a quickness and headed straight for the bathroom; road-trip coffee diarrhea is nothing to joke about. For the most part, the ladies kept it simple with selections from the Gunne Sax prom collection, and the gentleman chose one or two items from the Sheplers catalog and paired them with black jeans. Of course, there were a few stand-out looks.
The theme of last night’s 51st annual CMAs was Westwood Chic and the stars moseyed down the red carpet wearing their best robot brothel attire. As such, fringe, upholstery and feathers were the order of the day. That’s Drake up top there. No not that Drake, Drake White showing ’em how they ride in Nashville. For the most part, the ladies kept things more classically formal while the men ruled the night by showing off their creative country flair. Let’s saddle up and ride the range looking for lost doggies. Giddy up!