Jonah Hill Launched A Wellness Streetwear Brand And Insists It’s “Definitely Not A Cult.”

April 14, 2023 / Posted by:

Jonah Hill just debuted his new wellness/streetwear company called Meaningful Existence, a double whammy in the world of bullshit LA brands. The market is so oversaturated with celeb wellness and clothing brands that Jonah Hill (aka the cure for Kanye West’s antisemitism) knew if he was ever going to stand out from the rest of all those mediocre pullovers, he’s gotta pull something big. This is probably why he stepped out in his new apparel with ex-Real Housewife of Beverly Hills Lisa Rinna. Cause what’s bigger than Lisa Rinna’s lips?

While wearing an unauthorized Kenny G wig (just call it the “Sexy Saxophonist” wig) from the clearance section of Spirit Halloween, Jonah has been stunting his new streetwear brand with help from Lisa Rinna, one of Bravo’s greatest villains, aka “The biggest bully in Hollywood” (a title bestowed by Kathy Hilton). But “Jonah Hill” isn’t the face behind this mess. His alter ego, Prophet Ezekiel Profit, is. Prophet Ezekiel Profit is described as a “renowned spiritual guru, master of finance, and world-class conch blower.” According to Complex, here’s the rundown on Meaningful Existence’s About Us page, which also wants you to know that they are definitely not a cult:

“Meaningful Existence is the lifestyle and wellness COMMUNITY founded, run, and ruled by Prophet Ezekiel Profit. Based on the teachings of Profit, WE HAVE one simple goal: to spread joy throughout the universe by Monetizing Happiness. Here at Meaningful Existence, we believe that no one is born into happiness. You have to work and earn money, and then buy it. In a complicated world full of stress and doubt, we’re here to show you how much simpler things can really be when you allow us to take Complete Unrelenting Control.

So welcome, we’re happy you found us. We will be the shirt on your back, the sweatshirt on top of the shirt, the slides on your feet, the blanket that tucks you in at night and, most importantly, the smile on your face. Meaningful Existence is everything, everything except a cult. PURCHASE our products and see for yourself. To quote our leader, Prophet Ezekiel Profit: ‘Meaningful Existence is definitely not a cult. Welcome to the future. The more you pay, the better everything gets.’”

Here are posts from the Meaningful Existence Instagram page for a little taste of who Prophet Ezekiel Profit is:

Well, congrats to Lisa Rinna, who has managed to suck some attention from Prophet Ezekiel’s teat after “leavingReal Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Pic: Instagram

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