I don’t know if there’s ever been a movie in recent memory so woefully cursed as No Time To Die. Release dates have come and gone and come again. We already watched the 2nd trailer back in September 2020. Ben Affleck was preemptively banned from the red carpet in August. It’s been nearly a year since we tried listening to Billie Eilish’s theme song and decided it was meh. Want to feel old? They found that toilet camera on the set way back in June. OF 2019! Now, because of COVID, Deadline reports that the release date for the 25th James Bond movie has pushed back once again. Instead of getting it as an Easter basket, it’s going to be presented as a Thanksgiving turkey.
The 25th Bond movie, and Daniel Craig’s last, No Time To Die, has been doomed from the beginning. Danny Boyle quit as director, an explosion during filming messed up a crew member, and a toilet camera was found in the women’s restroom at the studio they filmed at. But then they got it together, put out a trailer and later a theme song sleep-mumbled out by Emily The Strange’s more sullen stepsister Billie The Emo. Just when they were beginning to think that the fuckery was behind them, they have met the biggest and most dangerous Bond villain of all: Coronavirus. Coronavirus has said, “It IS time to die”, to the movie’s original release date.
Trailerpalooza this week, huh? The people over at MGM must have known Black Widow was coming with her trailer and wanted to show Marvel that they ain’t the only ones with diversity up in the house. You have an Asian-Transgender-Tree Russian spy, Marvel? Well, MGM will give you Lashana Lynch as a 00 agent. But the trailer doesn’t totally confirm the rumor that Lashana Lynch will make heads pop off by taking over as 007.