Last month, Henry Cavill went “Instagram official” with his new girlfriend, Natalie Viscuso, by posting the above picture, which totally wasn’t created with help from several lighting designers, a team of body language experts, and a director shouting, “Henry, baby, look at her like you look at your gaming PC.” And while that picture made some of us briefly miss the good old days when Henry would go public with a relationship by working the ho stroll in the parking lot of a supermarket, others pulled out their magnifying glasses and started spitting out rumors about Henry’s new thing with Natalie. Henry has had it with the speculation and yesterday, he used approximately 12,984 words to say: Stop being bitter bitches and get a damn life! To which us bitter no-life-having bitches responded with, “I do not know what those words mean.”
The Daily Mail says that 38-year-old Henry Cavill and 31-year-old Natalie Viscuso, who is an exec at Legendary Entertainment (and one-time STAH of My Super Sweet 16), have been a thing since earlier this year when she said “fuck it” to COVID-19 travel restrictions and flew from the States to London to be with him. So it seems like things between them are still in the early stages, and usually, at the beginning of a relationship, the couple spends every waking moment fucking, or if you’re a certain celebrity type, every waking moment planning their next STUNT QUEEN move. But Henry has the time and scolded his fans and followers (and not in a sexy way) for speculating about his relationship.
ONTD says that on DeuxMoi and forums, fans have been saying that Henry and Natalie’s love is a publicist-created fauxmance and that she “bullied” him into going public with their relationship. Um, if they’re PR-made, why would Natalie need to “force” Henry to tell the world about them? Wouldn’t the public launch date of their relationship be detailed in a schedule of events from Henry’s PR team?! But still, Henry is mad at his fans (possible fanbase name: The Cavillry) for gossiping about his personal life and he let them know yesterday.
Henry fired up Thesaraus.com to tell his 16.1 million followers that he’s done with the speculations:
I couldn’t help but notice that there has been some social animosity of late. It’s becoming increasingly prevalent on my feed. There has been lots of, let’s call it speculation for now, about my private life and professional partnerships. Now, while I do appreciate the passion and support by those very people who are “speculating”, It has come to such a point that I needed to say something, which in itself, is a bad thing. We are living in an age of social enlightenment. More and more, people are realising that their views may have been blinkered and that they need to expand them to encompass others.
Henry then asked those who are talking shit about his relationship to stop because it’s causing harm to those he loves. And he continued to show us that he reads a lot of self-help books by calling for more positivity on the internet. Honestly, the end of Henry’s long-ass statement veered into RuPaul pep-talk territory, so I was expecting him to end with: Everybody say LOVE!
Let’s embrace this age of social enlightenment together, and move forward with positivity. I am very happy in love, and in life. I’d be enormously grateful if you were happy with me. If you can’t bring yourself to be happy with me, then at the very least try to do yourself proud and be the best version of yourself.
Here’s Henry’s full post including a selfie that Henry and Natalie took while on a break from shouting “Extra! Extra” on a street corner as they tried to sell newspapers. Or maybe they were rehearsing for a community theater production of Newsies?
That whole post is the sheer definition of “trying hard to meet the minimum word count on your essay.” Maybe Henry learned that trick from his teenage college student ex?
So is Henry’s plea going to make his fans stop? Yeah right. If anything, they probably noticed that light above Natalie’s head in the pic and believe it’s Henry’s way of letting them know that she comes up with all the ideas and is the diabolical mastermind behind this PRmance!!!! I mean, those matching newsboy caps are a cry for help.