Night Crumbs
Nearly ten years after chiseled piece of wooden hotness, Henry Cavill, made his debut as Superman in 2013’s Man of Steel, he has announced that he will once again cause eyeballs to jizz by stuffing his parts into Spandex. Henry is back as Superman and is expected to star in a Man of Steel sequel. DC is a mess right now thanks to the Ezra Miller shituation and the Batgirl movie getting dumped, so the question is, can Henry Cavill’s nipples, cum gutters, and bulge of steel save them?! And yes, that’s my way of letting Warner Bros. know that they can save DC by stuffing MoS 2 with as much Henry Cavill nipples, cum gutters, and bulge as possible – Just Jared
Olivia Wilde used her hoodie to probably let us all know that she and Harry Styles are still happily humpin’, okay? – Lainey Gossip
Today in Of Course He Is: Tom Brady is texting friends with Florida governor Ron DeSantis. I don’t even want to know what their texts are like, but I do know that their texts could probably deflate a brain in zero seconds flat – Pajiba
Drew Barrymore says that sometimes when she’s alone in her apartment, she gets taint-out naked and walks around. She finds it very liberating. You know, I would do the same, but it would only end with me in handcuffs after my dog calls the ASPCA to report me for making her go blind – Celebitchy
It feels like I write these words every other week: the McRib is back. It will haunt bowels on October 31st and will stick around for a few weeks before disappearing until its next comeback a few months later – SOW
Who doesn’t go fishing in nothing but a nalgas-baring loincloth? Ask Jason Momoa! Not pictured: all the hard-up horny hos who threw themselves into the ocean and pretended to be a fish so that Jason Momoa could catch them – OMG Blog
Remember that little English girl who always wore a tiara and made appearances on Ellen after going viral for rapping a Nicki Minaj song? Well, she’s 19 years old now and pregnant. On that note, I’ll meet you all for supper at 3 pm in the Shady Pines cafeteria since we’re all 120 years old now. It’s creamed corn casserole night! – Entertainment Tonight
But before we take off our dentures and gum into that creamed corn casserole, let’s all bow down to our new Hot Slut of the Month champion. Colin Mitchell, the UPS driver who heroically saved two dogs who were stuck in a pool, got 42% of the votes and is September’s HSOTM. Colin will go on to next year’s Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals. Thanks to all who voted!
Pic: YouTube