Open Post: Hosted By The Chill Attitude Of A Florida Man Who Had His Arm Ripped Off By An Alligator
With all of the bad shit happening in Florida–pretty much all due to asshole supreme, Governor Ron DeSantis–lurking alligators seem like one of the state’s least horrifying attributes these days, which could be why one Florida man who fell into a pond and had his arm bitten off by one doesn’t seem to be that bothered by it.
According to People, 23-year-old Jordan Rivera was out at Banditos Bar in Port Charlotte on Sunday, and he didn’t feel like waiting in a long bathroom line, so he decided to venture outside to drain the main vein into a pond. Cut to: Jordan in the pond with one of Florida’s many hungry (or maybe horny) gators who tore off his arm.
The incident took place at 1:40 a.m. local time, authorities said. Rivera was transported to Gulf Coast Hospital in Fort Myers where his right arm was amputated just above the elbow, a spokesman for Charlotte County Fire and EMS told the Associated Press.
Jordan says he can’t remember the tragic attack or how he ended up in the pond, but he must’ve either tripped, or the ground below him went down. When he came to, he was in the hospital. Luckily, other bar patrons saw the attack and ran to Jordan’s aid until EMS arrived. Though pretty much everyone would be traumatized and devastated about losing their right arm, Jordan had a surprisingly calm and borderline apathetic reaction to the whole ordeal.
Rivera claims not to remember the attack, only the moment right before and afterwards. He woke up in hospital, and has a surprisingly positive outlook about the incident despite his serious injury.
“I didn’t lose my life, I lost an arm,” Rivera told NBC affiliate WBBH in Fort Myers, speaking from his hospital bed. “It’s not the end of the world.”
“Those gators, I didn’t truly understand them until I woke up in the hospital and, ‘Oh, gator got your arm,’ ” he said. “They got my elbow. So, I don’t have an elbow.”
Rivera added: “I can still move my arm around and whatnot.”
Here’s Jordan very calmly talking about it. I’ll have what he’s having:
The vicious 10-foot gator was later trapped and euthanized. See Ron? The blood is on your hands! All of Florida’s gators would just pop up every now and then to play trumpets and shit if you hadn’t declared war on Disney.