The strange thing was that everyone wasn’t told to go home as soon as this feathery vision of dusty pink gluh-moore whipped his boa train on the carpet. Why even bother going on with the 2017 CFDA Awards when it was already shut down by an exquisite bejeweled pink ostrich? I’m sure that is a question that fashion professors will ponder with their students for years to come.
The angels probably refer to this human definition of man glamour as “the reincarnation of Liberace,” but he goes by the name Di Mondo and he’s a NYC socialite, Instagram supermodel and a Chilean-American pillar of potent fabulousness who probably makes people cry happy tears of glitter whenever he strolls by them. The gorgeous ghost of Johnny Weir’s future showed up to last night’s CFDA Awards with a date who I really thought was Baryshnikov for about 3 seconds. Di Mondo’s stunning ensemble probably made every single person there look down at their drab and homely outfit and contemplate going home. They should’ve, because if you were at the CFDA Awards last night and weren’t wearing sheer boudoir pants and a bedazzled pink blazer that looked like it was shitting feathers, why did you even bother going?
While Di Mondo brought the shiny happy fabulousness, the Olsens didn’t let me down by bringing the direct opposite. Glum and Glummer were my second favorite best-dressed of the night, because Ashley Olsen looked like the headmistress of a strict all-girls school in a dystopian future and Mary-Kate Olsen looked like the school librarian who covers her favorite books with the skin of the students who dare cross her.
They also looked like they were trying to out-miserable each other last night. Ashley is like, “No, dear sister, I’m obviously having a more miserable time than you are,” and Mary-Kate’s like, “No, dear sister, I am much more miserable.” They both win.
And I bet that Di Mondo’s breathtaking perfection even made the Olsens crack a smile. Yeah, I doubt. They probably thought he was some beautiful exotic bird and ordered their minions to cut off his tail so that they can turn it into a robe and sell it for $56,000.
Here’s more from last night’s CFDA Awards including Matt Boner in a green tux and Bella Hadid looking like her 30 days as a human has expired and she’s back to being a mannequin.