Category: Andre Leon Talley

André Leon Talley Says His Relationship With Anna Wintour Is “In An Iceberg”

May 19, 2020 / Posted by:

André Leon Talley, a man forever dressed like he’s in the middle of getting a haircut, released his memoir, The Chiffon Trenches, today. 70-year-old ALT leaked some excerpts a few weeks ago, and they did not paint a very flattering portrait of his former Vogue boss Anna Wintour. ALT writes that she constantly fat-shamed him (whaaa, the editor of Vogue?!), traded in her old friends for a younger, more A-list crowd, unceremoniously dumped him from hosting the Met Gala red carpet and Vogue podcast for being too old, and, this is my favorite, says she isn’t “capable of simple human kindness”. 

ALT recently discussed the book with Gayle King, and, unsurprisingly, said his relationship with Anna was iceberg levels of frosty (pre-climate change).

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Andre Leon Talley Goes In On Anna Wintour In His Memoir

April 23, 2020 / Posted by:

Ryan Murphy’s Feud: Bette and Joan aired in 2017 and there hasn’t been a second season. The second season was supposed to be about the fall of the marriage between Prince Charles (played by Matthew Goode) and Princess Diana (played by Rosamund Pike), but that idea was tossed into the dumpster after FX felt the material wasn’t right. There have been no plans for a second season, but Andre Leon Talley just dropped the perfect Feud into Ryan’s lap. Feud: Andre Leon Talley vs. Anna Wintour starring Titus Burgess as ALT and Sarah Paulson as Anna Wintour! Or a pair of extra demonic-looking Blue Blockers in a Dutch Boy wig as Anna Wintour.

Andre Leon Talley’s memoir, The Chiffon Trenches, comes out in September and The Daily Mail got an EXCLUSIVO first look at it. In it, ALT praises Anna for turning him into a fashion star, but writes that if Anna had a Grindr account, her profile would read: No fats! No olds! No losers! Because he says that when he got too old, too overweight, and too uncool (copyright: Jennifer Aniston) for her, she banished him from her inner circle. And there’s a very good reason why ALT always looks like he’s on his way to his own graduation. He’s got his Ph.D. in reading and shows it off by reading Anna Wintour in his memoir.

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Well, That’s One Way To Guarantee Yourself A Second Vogue Cover

November 1, 2014 / Posted by:

Because Halloween is nothing if not a perfect opportunity to use your daughter as a prop in hopes of scoring brownie points with the fashion world, mother of the decade Kim Kardashian pulled her favorite fashion accessory out of the skunk costume she was originally wearing (skunks are so 5 minutes ago) and threw on a black satin throw pillow cover so that North West could be the André Leon Talley to her Anna Wintour. Kim’s partners in blatant kiss-assery are her makeup artist and her son, who look about as thrilled as North West to be dressed as Grace Coddington and Karl Lagerfeld. Not pictured: Kim’s current husband Kanye West, who was dressed as the most important fashion designer of all time, Kanye West.

Those poor babies – they want nothing to do with this mess! That Karl baby appears to be making a break for it (good for you, Baby Karl!), and you know North would do the same if it weren’t for Kim klutching on to her with that klassic Kardashian iron pimp grip. Even Kim’s friend appears to be going to her happy place. But Kim is living for that Anna Wintour costume, which is crazy because this has got to be the first Halloween in hooker history that she hasn’t worn something that shows off every inch of her silicone-stuffed ass.

Oh wait. It appears I spoke too soon.

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Of course Kim couldn’t go a whole Halloween without stuffing 30lbs of ass into 5lbs of spandex. Shortly after Kim got a good picture of herself dressed up as the editor-in-chief of VOGUE for Instagram, she handed North off to the nannies and got her Slutoween on by dressing up as a dead-eyed hooker skeleton. Only Kim could make a skeleton costume look skanky. But her costume does make total sense – Kim is famous for getting boned, after all.

Pics: Instagram

This Is Beautiful: Andre Leon Talley Touches Kim Kartrashian’s Shoulder After Picking His Nose

May 8, 2014 / Posted by:

Because I’m forever a 12-year-old who sits in the green round table in the dark part of the cafeteria laughing at hos picking their noses and farting, this video of Grimace’s fabulous cousin Andre Leon Talley touching Kim Kartrashian after finger fucking a goodie out of his nose took me up, up, up and away. At the annual event where rich celebwhores parade around in fancy designer gowns so that us peasants can laugh and point at how busted some of them look, the Duchess of Vogue Andre Leon Talley sat on his throne at the top of the stairs of and talked to some of the hos there. When hallowed-out mannequin and esteemed Professor of Racism Studies Kohler Kartrashian slithered up to ALT’s throne at the Met Gala, they talked about dumb shit like what kind of dress she’s going to wear to her pre-divorce ceremony to Kanye West (SPOILER ALERT: She’s going to wear a dress with Kanye’s face on it since that’s the only way Pimp Mama Kris can keep him at the altar). When ALT summons Kanye over and Kim turns her head, that’s when the beautiful magic happens. ALT tries to be slick when he digs up into his nose. They more make stupid small talk and then ALT makes the moment even more beautiful when he touches Kim and shakes Kanye’s hand with the hand he touched his nose dingles with.

Sure, one of ALT’s minions could’ve wipe down his schnoz-digging finger with a silk napkin and Puréll (it’s like Purell, but it’s from France), but it’s better for you, it’s better for me and it’s better for everyone if we choose to believe that he wiped his nose shit on Kim and Kanye. Wipe that snot juice on Kleenex Kardashian, Andre! But whatever, Kim and Kanye wouldn’t mind. It’s not like that’s the first time (or the billionth) that they’ve had man goo smeared on them.

And here’s Lucifer’s hardest-whoring minion dressed up like a lady pastor from the early 70s at USC Shoah Foundation’s 20th Anniversary Gala with Yevnige Salibian who is obviously trying to ignore the skankness behind her.

Vid: Bohmoth Pics: Splash, Getty

Andre Leon Talley Is Not Gay

August 12, 2013 / Posted by:

Just typing the name “Andre Leon Talley” makes my b-hole tingle and poot out a silk taffeta ribbon, but he tells Vanity Fair (via Towleroad)  that contrary to those Republican First Lady loafers on his feets, he is not gay. Most assumed that Andre Leon Talley is gayer than me belting out “Defying Gravity” from Wicked while waiting to buy a Mint Oreo Blizzard at a Dairy Queen drive-thru, but he doesn’t put any labels on himself. He’s had very, very gay experiences (like posing in that picture above), but he doesn’t consider himself strictly dickly. ALT says that he’s only been in love with two humans and they both had vaginas. Once you finish picking your blown mind up from across the room, read what ALT had to say after Vanity Fair asked him if he ever thought he was gay, even in high school:

“No, no, no. I was just into my magazines and the drawings. I had a very strict upbringing, almost puritanical. I lived there all the way through college. I was in my grandmother’s house, and I respected that!”

[I have] had very gay experiences, yes, I swear on my grandmother’s grave that I never slept with a single designer in my life. Never, ever desired, never was asked, never was approached, never, ever bought, in my entire career. Never. Not one. Skinny or fat. Never.

I just said to a friend, ‘I can create this magic, so why don’t I have a lover?’ [But] if I was a couple, I wouldn’t like to stay in the same bedroom. It is very un-chic in Europe to sleep in the same bedroom.”

Very un-chic in Europe to sleep in the same bedroom?! I always knew Andre Leon Talley was the spirit of an 80-year-old Austrian countess circa 1899 trapped in the body of a big, American black man. But ALT pretty much being a-sexual makes a whole lot of sense. Because bumping bare fuck parts with another human is totally overrated when you’re Andre Leon Talley and can cream out your orifices by twirling around in a geisha graduation robe.

The Mighty O On Paula Deen’s N-Word Scandal

August 6, 2013 / Posted by:

When Oprah interviewed Paula Deen for Oprah’s Next Chapter last year, she stayed in the Deen family “guest house” in Georgia and now she knows why the “guest house” was actually a shack in the backyard and why there was an Aunt Jemima costume and a dinner bell lying on her cot. The Mighty O got to know Paula Deen, so at last night’s premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC, everybody with a mic asked her about it. Oprah recently said no friend of hers will ever use the n-word around her, so I’m surprised she didn’t tell reporters, “Paula who? Oh, you mean the Miss Millie whose company I’m going to buy with my play money and DESTROY just for fun?” Oprah told Entertainment Tonight that Paula is not the first white woman to use the n-word and also said that she tried to call Paula’s ass.

“In the very first days I tried to reach her and then I decided to stay out of it as I saw it blowing up. In time she will be fine. For me, it all just felt kind of sad.

Nobody in their right mind is going to call me the N-word. You know, you see those fools on Twitter sometime say ridiculous things. But nobody in their right mind is going to do that to my face, because true racism is being able to have power over somebody else. So that doesn’t happen to me that way.”

That’s Oprah’s way of saying, “I’m God, bitch,” and it’s also Oprah’s way of telling Squeak to come call her a “field niggerto her face, because she really wants to tit pound that bitch through all the layers of the Earth into Hell.

Here’s more of FroPrah and Ted Head Stedman at last night’s The Butler premiere. I also threw in a bunch of pictures of other hos there including Mimi who showed up wearing a sling that can double as a studded fisting glove.

Pics: Wenn.com

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