Because I’m forever a 12-year-old who sits in the green round table in the dark part of the cafeteria laughing at hos picking their noses and farting, this video of Grimace’s fabulous cousin Andre Leon Talley touching Kim Kartrashian after finger fucking a goodie out of his nose took me up, up, up and away. At the annual event where rich celebwhores parade around in fancy designer gowns so that us peasants can laugh and point at how busted some of them look, the Duchess of Vogue Andre Leon Talley sat on his throne at the top of the stairs of and talked to some of the hos there. When hallowed-out mannequin and esteemed Professor of Racism Studies Kohler Kartrashian slithered up to ALT’s throne at the Met Gala, they talked about dumb shit like what kind of dress she’s going to wear to her pre-divorce ceremony to Kanye West (SPOILER ALERT: She’s going to wear a dress with Kanye’s face on it since that’s the only way Pimp Mama Kris can keep him at the altar). When ALT summons Kanye over and Kim turns her head, that’s when the beautiful magic happens. ALT tries to be slick when he digs up into his nose. They more make stupid small talk and then ALT makes the moment even more beautiful when he touches Kim and shakes Kanye’s hand with the hand he touched his nose dingles with.
Sure, one of ALT’s minions could’ve wipe down his schnoz-digging finger with a silk napkin and Puréll (it’s like Purell, but it’s from France), but it’s better for you, it’s better for me and it’s better for everyone if we choose to believe that he wiped his nose shit on Kim and Kanye. Wipe that snot juice on Kleenex Kardashian, Andre! But whatever, Kim and Kanye wouldn’t mind. It’s not like that’s the first time (or the billionth) that they’ve had man goo smeared on them.
And here’s Lucifer’s hardest-whoring minion dressed up like a lady pastor from the early 70s at USC Shoah Foundation’s 20th Anniversary Gala with Yevnige Salibian who is obviously trying to ignore the skankness behind her.