The other day, when I shat up another Duggar post, I linked to a video of baby goats in sweaters, because it was the perfect palate cleaner. Well, today, we posted about the Duggars and Mila Kunis’ stalker and obviously the perfect palate cleanser for that is a video of 3-week-old Nigerian dwarf goats named Winifred and Monty hopping around in pajamas.

The good thing about baby goats is that they don’t judge each other for what their humans make them wear. Because if I was Monty (the lighter one), I’d be baaaaaaah-ing my goat ass lips off over that tacky strawberry and purple onesie my baby goat sister was forced to wear. Looking like Katy Perry and shit… Although, Monty shouldn’t laugh, because he could be a farmer in those clothes.

via Buzzfeed

While looking for pictures to go with this story about Bobby Flay’s roaming ginger dick, I pulled up this picture just as I bit into a buttered English Muffin. My dog is now enjoying a half-eaten buttered English Muffin, because I long my appetite while picturing Paula Deen’s nooks and crannies fill with freshly churned pussy butter as she got an eyeful of Bobby’s pasty goods.

If there ever was a #getmoneybitch (copyright: the most influential philosopher of our time Khia) tournament of champions, Stephanie March would definitely be in the finals, because she’s been pulling out all the stops in her fight to get more alimony cash out of Bobby Flay. She’s brought their old racehorse into the fight and claimed that he’d be nothing without her palate. InTouch Weekly (via The Daily Mail) says that Stephanie is now bringing the adventures of Bobby Flay’s freckled salchicha into it.

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Here’s Tom Cruise on the Georgia set of his new movie and I don’t know if that’s an E-meter can in his pocket or he’s just happy to Xenu. (I don’t know what that means either!) – Lainey Gossip

If the Bill Cosby rape allegations ever make it to a courtroom, I’m sure his attorney will make the same points Amy Schumer makes in this sketch – The Superficial

Teen Mom Jenelle is as calm and genteel as ever – Reality Tea

Rosie Huntington-Whateverly almost serves up nipple and chocha in Lui magazine – Drunken Stepfather

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are going to throw their marriage in a coffin before their 10th anniversary, but probably not – Celebitchy

Grace and Frankie, which I have yet to binge watch, got renewed for a second season. If Dolly Parton isn’t a guest star next season, their renewal would have been for nothing! – Towleroad

Katherine McPhee’s eyebrow situation is looking a little wonky in her new music video – Egotastic!

Another day, another set of pictures of Vanessa Hudgens wearing an outfit from the Haus of WTF – Popoholic

I threw up a Duggar post today and that calls for a video of baby goats in tiny sweaters – The Berry 

Keeley Hazell (Remember her? Probably not.) still exists and is doing some kind of Baywatch-themed photo shoot – Hollywood Tuna 

Jenny Lewis FINALLY does the Cookie Time dance in a music video. However, I am side-eyeing her for letting Zosia Mamet play Dorothy. That’s ILLEGAL and Jenny Lewis should probably be arrested for it – Jezebel

Madge is worth a little over a billion dollars. I wonder how much of that goes to the Illuminati? Does she have to give a regular tithing on top of the virgin sacrifice? – OMG Blog

Tatum O’Neal is doing ladies now – ICYDK

Sam Shepard got another DUI – HuffPo

Tilda Swinton is an ancient being who has been here since the beginning of time, so this casting makes sense – Pajiba

So much for the rumors that Cameron Diaz is done with rubbing on Benji Madden’s tattooed FUPA – Popsugar

Okay, but when are we going to find out that the Kartrashian Kar Krash was shot using a stunt driver in front of a green screen on a soundstage in Burbank? – Just Jared

Pic: Splash

As usual, Cupcake the fluffy white purse dog is expressing our thoughts about these two by making a glazed-over look.

If Pimp Mama Kris wasn’t a greedy, selfish momager™ who wants to be the only one in the pimp mama game, she’d try to squeeze out a tear over one of her own parting ways with their ho. Krista Keller, the pimp mom on the left who has the looks of a plastic Lynne Spears and the evil soul of PMK, announced to UsWeekly today that she has quit being Courtney Stodden’s manager. Krista blamed “creative differences” for the reason why she’ll no longer have the title “Manager To The Porn Iguana” on her business card. In other words, letting her 16-year-old marry a 50-year-old was no big deal, but a staged sex tape was just too, too much.

If you’re an underage teenage girl who has always dreamed of marrying a 50-something has-been actor with a face like an unmasked Michael Myers, don’t worry. Krista is looking for new hos to manage and she also plans to help her husband with his Christian site. There’s a Duggar joke somewhere in there. Here’s Pimp Mama Krista’s hilarious break-up statement.

“On May 22 I resigned as Courtney’s manager/momager. I love my daughter very much, but I decided to step down due to serious creative differences.

I will also be on the lookout for people that I would like to manage to help them reach their goals in the entertainment industry. I plan to use my time now to help my husband, Reggie, with his Christian website called PowerSharing.com, which is a ministry to uplift and inspire others to follow their dreams through faith.”

But seriously, my guess is that their “creative differences” were really over the direction of Courtney Stodden’s porn. Krista probably wanted Courtney to really go for it by doing a DP creampie gang bang porn while the Porn Iguana wanted to start out slow. Haven’t we all had those kind of “creative differences” with our mom?

Leonardo DiCatchAHo, the Godfather of the Pussy Posse, held court at the amfAR gala in Cannes where he graciously allowed a camera to take in his greatness. But you probably barely noticed him, because you were too busy worshiping the stunning eyebrows hovering above him – Lainey Gossip 

HIDE YO MACADAMIA NUTS IN A BAG! The Rage Queen of the Air, Heather Cho, is free! – HuffPo

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield’s break is over – Celebitchy

Jennifer Love Hewitt is still pregnant and I’m pretty sure she’s entering her 6th trimester. How very Jessica Simpson of her, I know. – Drunken Stepfather

Presenting the new definition for “Of Fucking Course” – Towleroad

A strange thing happened, the paps actually showed up when Alexis Bellino, formerly of The Real Housewives of Orange County, called them – Egotastic!

The most busted down, low-rent Michael Jackson, E.T. in drag and Demi Moore impersonators went out to dinner together – Reality Tea

Peta Nemcova’s nipple almost came out to play but decided that it just wasn’t ready for its close up – The Superficial  

Reason #567,999 for why John Mayer is a b-hole – WWTDD

I like Vanessa Hudgens’ ensemble here. That is the second time I’ve typed that sentence in a month. I’m beginning to worry about myself – Popoholic

Need to cut some stone? Cut them on Chris Pratt’s hard, wet nipples – Boy Culture

Model Nicole Trunfio is breastfeeding her baby on the cover of Elle Australia and that’s great and everything, but couldn’t they have went with a picture where she wasn’t making a derp farty face? – Jezebel

I want Jason Statham on my face, but not like this – Pajiba

That bulldog looks like me when I go up to a guy and his friends at a gay bar – Hollywood Tuna 

It’s man nipple time! – The Berry 

And if you need more man nipples, here’s a topless Stephen Amell in Spain – Just Jared

Our Lady of Cheetos and Tyson Beckford reunited in Vegas – Popsugar

Pic: Getty

UPDATE: TLC pulled 19 Kids and Counting from their schedule, but they haven’t officially canceled it yet.

As Josh Duggar shat up a statement where he admitted to molesting several underage girls when he was a teenager (and later prayed the pedo away), TLC really went for it by airing a marathon of 19 Paychecks and Counting. Obviously, the marathon was scheduled to air long before the world learned that Josh Duggar is even more disgusting than we all thought. But after Josh admitted it, you’d think that maybe, just maybe, someone at TLC would hit the abort button on that marathon and replace it with episodes of I’m A 600-lb Gypsy Bride And I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant With A Little Amish Medium. (That may or may not be a real show on TLC, but I’m pretty sure it’s real.)

TLC hasn’t said anything yet about what they’re going to do with 19 Kids and that’s making the butter in No Mama June’s veins boil. TLC dropped Here Comes Honey Boo Boo in the dumpster right after a picture came out of No Mama June hanging out with the convicted pedo who allegedly abused her own daughter Chickadee. Seen above hugging on a horse’s ass (“You’ll have to be more specific, because I see two horses asses there. Horse ass-to-horse ass!” – you), June the Hutt tells TMZ that she will hit TLC with a lawsuit if they don’t put 19 Kids And Counting in the trash. June moaned about how the cancellation of her show cost her hundreds of thousands of dollars and she wants that monies if TLC keeps the Duggars on the air.

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