Since I posted about a pool drowning, Cosby’s gross ass and the Duggars today, I figured we could all use a level 10 palate cleanser that will power wash the layer of UGH from our eyeballs and this may be it. In this world exists a 4-month-old chameleon named Laura who is shit at popping bubbles, but looks adorable while trying to do it as she surfs on her human’s hand. Laura the Baby Chameleon’s human Nick DeBakey says that this video wasn’t even planned, but that magic was made when she got hypnotized by all the bubbles.

“This was the first time I noticed Laura’s interest in bubbles. I didn’t even plan this video, I just had her out and she was crawling over me and then my mom started blowing bubbles because my dog likes to pop them as well. Then, I noticed Laura was watching them with both eyes (which means chameleons are extremely interested because they have the capability to move their eyes in different directions), so I just moved her closer and almost instinctively she tried popping them.”

And here’s the video:

I’m not sure if Laura looks more like a grandpa on acid trying to catch the lights in the air at a fireworks show or if she looks more like Larry King conducting a symphony. But I do know that on the list of things I didn’t know I needed in my life, “a video of a baby chameleon popping bubbles” is at the top.

via Tastefully Offensive

Michiel Huisman (34)
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Kristen Bell (35)
Kelly Reilly (38)
Elsa Pataky (39)
M.I.A. (40)
Grant Bowler (47)
Vin Diesel (48)
Jim Bob Duggar (50)
Wendy Williams (51)
Elizabeth McGovern (54)
Audrey Landers (59)
Margo Martindale (64)
Richard Branson (65)
Martha Reeves (74)
James Brolin (75)
Paul Verhoeven (77)
Dick Button (86)

Pic: Mario Testino

With Caitlyn Jenner, Iran, El Chapo, hairy butt zit Donald Trump and the cat with his head stuck in a cup (that’s CNN’s top story, right?) taking over the news, TLC quietly scratched out the “TLC Hearts The Duggars” that was etched into the tree outside of their offices and announced that they have washed their hands of 19 Kids and Counting. TLC probably announced it on the down-low, because they don’t want God to find out and strike them dead for turning their backs on a good Christian family!!! Cut to God filing his nails and rolling his eyes like “whatever” after reading TLC’s announcement.

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Oh, it’s just Tom Selleck and some stolen ice. – Texndoc

Upvote winner:

For the rare occasion that Michelle Duggar gets her period. – RainbowsnDaggers

Pic: Break

The entire marketing department at Subway is melting in their office chairs this morning, because their slogan “Eat Fresh” has a new NOT RIGHT meaning and has careened into dark places of NO.

FOX59 says that at around 6:30 this morning, the Zionsville, Indiana home of fatty turned $5 foot-long pusher Jared Fogle was raided by the feds in an ongoing child porn investigation. Reporters at Subway Jared’s house say that an evidence truck is parked in his driveway and both the Indiana State Police and FBI investigators are at the scene. It’s Pat’s creepy-looking nephew hasn’t been charged with anything and the feds are still searching his house. Back in college, Jared ran a black market porn lending service out of his dorm room, so the feds could be spending a whole lot of time with his hard drives.

The raid on the house that $5 foot longs built could be part of a long-term child porn investigation. In April, Russell Taylor, the former director of The Jared Fogle Foundation (an anti-obese kids charity started by Subway Jared), was put into handcuffs for possessing and producing child porn. Investigators found more than 500 dark-sided videos and pictures in his house. Russell Taylor was dropped by The Jared Fogle Foundation immediately after he was arrested. Russell Taylor tried to kill himself in jail and he was put on life support.

In possibly related news, reporters at the scene say that tricky bitch Ronald McDonald and shifty brat Wendy were seen tip-toeing out of the backdoor of Subway Jared’s house while giggling and high-fiving each other.

And well, if Subway drops Jared, I’m sure he can get a job in Mike Huckabee’s campaign or as Josh Duggar’s cook.

Pic: Subway

Behold, the one person who might actually envy Michelle Duggar’s perpetual motion machine vagina. Amanda Seyfried recently admitted to Marie Claire UK that she wants a baby inside her RIGHT NOW. Amanda’s womb is ready for a visitor and her ovaries are furiously swiping right on every sperm they see on Fertilizer (aka Tinder for eggs). Amanda, who is currently dating Justin Long, is only 29 years old, but apparently her reproductive parts are screaming at her to get sperminated before they turn into a mummified pile of dust.

“I keep feeling like my eggs are dying off. Once you’ve turned 30, you might only have a 20 per cent of getting pregnant [each cycle]. And that’s if everything is working well. Isn’t that crazy? I need to get on it. I want a child, badly. I’ve been feeling it it for like, two years. I’m not ready, but nobody is ready.”

She goes on to say that she’s also ready for marriage, but don’t expect to see her posing for Vogue in a wedding gown. According to Amanda: “I do premieres and dress up all the time. I do that for a fucking living.”

Amanda doesn’t have to worry that much about her chances of finding a fetus in her babymaker. If a 65-year-old grandma can get knocked up, I’m sure science will be able to find a way for 29-year-old Amanda. What I’d be more concerned about is just how bad it would be for your babymaker if the excessive amount of canned nacho cheese residue traveling through your body every day around 7pm were to seep through your intestines and collect on your uterus. For real, is that a thing that can happen? I’m asking for “friend“.

But Amanda’s not totally without a cuddly snuggle baby in her life. Here she is with her dog Finn in New York last week.

Pics: Wenn.com