Because of the writers’ strike, ABC is leaning all the way into reality shit shows for their fall schedule and announced that The Golden Bachelor is happening. Calm down, Yung Miami, I didn’t say The Golden SHOWERS Bachelor. The Golden Bachelor will be a senior citizen who is looking for love (or some hot seasoned ass) among a group of ladies in their golden years. Yes, finally, the memaws of the world will get a chance to drunkenly fight each other for a man. Ageism is truly over! Speaking of, I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall as this show was pitched to male network executives. “Wait, so the show follows an old dude as he only dates women HIS age? Okay, we’re gonna have to market it as a fairy tale.” – Variety

Amused: Cannes juror Brie Larson was not when a reporter asked if she, a supporter of the #MeToo movement, was planning to see Johnny Depp’s “comeback” movie, which opened the festival – HuffPo

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Last week, Addison Timlin filed for divorce from it boy Jeremy Allen White, star of The Bear. No reason was provided, but some completely unreliable blind items suggested that one or both parties cheated. Then, on Sunday, Addison decided to stir up some drama in honor of Mother’s Day. She posted pics of her and her two daughters, 4-year-old Ezer and 2-year-old Dolores, and opened her Instagram caption with, “Being a single mom is not how I pictured it. It is so fucking hard.” She went on to thank all the people who have “helped me in these last 9 months” since her split from Jeremy. To me, the implication is, “Daddy got famous and fucked right off.”

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In late 2019, RuPaul bought a $13.7 million mansion in Beverly Hills (every last cent was paid in FrackBucks™ [there, I burned my obligatory fracking joke right off the top]). Since then, RuPaul and interior designer Martyn Lawrence Bullard have completely transformed the “grand but uninspired residence” built in the 80s into a swanky “fever dream of Hollywood regency.” Now, Ru is finally ready to show that shit off to Architectural Digest. Cuz if a celebrity spends a kajillion dollars redesigning their mansion and nobody from Architectural Digest is around to take pictures…  does it even exist?

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Restaurant owners across America are stress-smoking cigs as we speak because culinary terrorizer Gordon Ramsay will return for another round of Kitchen Nightmares on Fox. This is good news for minimum-age-earning line cooks who really want to feel worthless while getting screamed at by Gordon Ramsay. Although, they could scream back at him, “Instead of yelling at me, try to work on your dismal Kitchen Nightmares success rate of only 16%.”

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Once upon a time, before Chris “The Worst of His Name” Pratt found Jesus and subsequently got so lost in his own sauce that he had the audacity to compare himself to him; he was married to and had a son with Anna Faris. But they ended up divorcing, both to eventually remarry. And these days, Chris has a habit of barfing out saccharine social media posts about his current wife, Katherine Schwarzenegger, so it was par for the course that he hunt-and-pecked out a Mother’s Day tribute calling her an amazing mom to their two daughters and stepmom to his son, Jack. Though Chris did include his mom and mother-in-law in the post as well, he didn’t mention Jack’s actual mom, Anna; and his comment section went wild with accusations that he had intentionally shaded her.

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