Restaurant owners across America are stress-smoking cigs as we speak because culinary terrorizer Gordon Ramsay will return for another round of Kitchen Nightmares on Fox. This is good news for minimum-age-earning line cooks who really want to feel worthless while getting screamed at by Gordon Ramsay. Although, they could scream back at him, “Instead of yelling at me, try to work on your dismal Kitchen Nightmares success rate of only 16%.”
⅓ of the BeckPelMez throuple, Brooklyn Beckham, has been trying to shove his basic-ass food down everyone’s throats for a minute now, ever since waking up one day and deciding that he wanted to be a “chef.” And so it was, since Victoria and David Beckham are his parents, and he has the means to put on any fleeting career-hat of his choosing. But he’s been catching so much flack for his lack of training and execution of recipes that Mommy Becks took a time out from feuding with Brooklyn and his wife, Nicola Peltz Beckham, to defend the roast beef he made on his reel the other day (as if she eats roast beef; we know she only eats fish and toast). If Brooklyn is keeping count of the people in his corner, he can now add another notch to his eyebrow because he just gained another defender in the form of sweary celebrity chef/Beckham family friend Gordon Ramsay. Though Gordon would scream, “IT’S FUCKENNNN RAWWWWE,” right in the face of anyone else who made that roast, he instead offered the insight that Brooklyn can’t help who his parents are and things are really hard for him, so everyone needs to cut him a break.
Gordon Ramsay, the angriest chef in the world, recently took a trip to select the freshest cut of lamb he could find; at a farm. And to celebrate his hungry excursion he posted a video on TikTok to share the joy he feels before slaughtering and ingesting one of the cutest animals known to man. And while he may have thought his video was funny, it came off very creepy. So now he’s getting dragged as the heads of everyone at PETA combust.
Ill-tempered celebrity chef and psychotic restauranteur trigger mechanism Gordon Ramsay has a new show coming out on the National Geographic channel. It’s called
I Can Rip Off Anthony Bourdain Now That He’s Dead Gordon Ramsay: Uncharted, and the show’s concept reads way condescending, so Gordo is staying on brand. He will journey around the world and stop in to cook against local chefs, with both competitors using the local ingredients. This sounds like a sneaky Trojan Horse for colonialization, but let’s trust National Geographic not to go that route. Continue reading
Why does “pineapple pizza” keep popping up in all my social media feeds lately? It’s that and “fidget spinners.” I can’t escape them! Raging celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay hates him some pineapple pizza. He hates it more than when a masochistic chefs screws up on one of his many reality shows. He hates it more than he hates Amy and Samy Bouzaglo! Continue reading
And now for more sadness… One month after he announced on The Late Late Show the was going to be a father for the fifth time, Gordon Ramsay has revealed that his wife Tana Ramsay has miscarried their son five months into her pregnancy. People says that Gordon shared the sad news on Facebook earlier today.
“Hi guys, Tana and I want to thank you so much for your support over the past couple of weeks. We had a devastating weekend as Tana has sadly miscarried our son at five months. We’re together healing as a family, but we want to thank everyone again for all your amazing support and well wishes. I’d especially like to send a big thank you to the amazing team at Portland Hospital for everything they’ve done. Gx”
49-year-old Gordon and 41-year-old Tana’s family includes three teenage daughters and a teenage son.
This news is especially considering how happy Gordon was when he announced it. Seeing the words “You’re almost 50” and “Congratulations, you’re going to be a parent for the fifth time” would probably make a lot of people sweat, but not Gordon Ramsay. He was so excited. He was happier than a Gordon Ramsay yelling at a group of Hell’s Kitchen chefs after a dinner service that was nothing but raw beef wellingtons and overcooked halibuts. Not to mention that as anyone who has ever watched MasterChef Junior know, he’s legitimately cute around kids.