Night Crumbs

May 16, 2023 / Posted by:

Because of the writers’ strike, ABC is leaning all the way into reality shit shows for their fall schedule and announced that The Golden Bachelor is happening. Calm down, Yung Miami, I didn’t say The Golden SHOWERS Bachelor. The Golden Bachelor will be a senior citizen who is looking for love (or some hot seasoned ass) among a group of ladies in their golden years. Yes, finally, the memaws of the world will get a chance to drunkenly fight each other for a man. Ageism is truly over! Speaking of, I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall as this show was pitched to male network executives. “Wait, so the show follows an old dude as he only dates women HIS age? Okay, we’re gonna have to market it as a fairy tale.” – Variety

Amused: Cannes juror Brie Larson was not when a reporter asked if she, a supporter of the #MeToo movement, was planning to see Johnny Depp’scomeback” movie, which opened the festival – HuffPo

Every brown-haired pretty boy white actor in Hollywood is probably renting a Superman costume as I type this. Because casting is currently happening for Superman: Legacy, and in the mix for Lois Lane are Rachel Brosnahan, Emma Mackey, Samara Weaving, and Phoebe Dynevor. And apparently, the only choice to play Lex Luthor is Nicholas Hoult, while the frontrunner for Clark Kent is a brown-haired pretty boy white actor named David Corenswet. They tell me that David Corenswet is a Juilliard graduate and has been in several TV shows and movies, but after looking at his picture, I’m going to choose to believe he was created by Warner Bros. using AI to solely play Clark Kent – Lainey Gossip

Justin Long and Kate Bosworth are probably married now – Celebitchy

Even though Gabrielle Union is a multi-millionaire with Bring It On money, she still worries about her finances. Gabrielle also said that she and her husband, Dwayne Wade (reported net worth: $170 million), split all bills 50/50, and that probably made every gold digger in the land pass out – The Root

Trump-loving David Mamet will serve up a giant plate of lukewarm fuckery with his John F. Kennedy assassination movie starring Shia LaBeouf, John Travolta, Courtney Love, and Al PacinoThe A.V. Club

Pic: ABC

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