I hope Bobby Flay isn’t getting too attached to his title of Messiest Public Divorce, because he might soon have to hand it over to WNBA players Glory Johnson and Brittney Griner. Take a look at that picture of Glory and Brittney on their wedding day back in May, because it’s going to come in very handy for when you say “Well, that escalated quickly” later.

Things started out OK. Brittney asked Glory to marry her back in August, and in January, they appeared on Say Yes To The Dress. Then it began to get all sorts of bad for Brittney and Glory a few weeks before their wedding. On April 22nd, Brittney and Glory got into a brawl at their home in Arizona that ended with both of them getting arrested for domestic violence. Brittney plead guilty to disorderly conduct and was ordered to complete a 26 week domestic violence counseling program (Glory’s case is still pending). Then two weeks later, Brittney and Glory were like “Fight? What fight?” and got married at the delicious-sounding Tapatio Cliffs Resort Phoenix on May 8th.

Then on June 4th, Glory announced that will be taking this season off because she’s knocked-up with a baby. Which is great, right? Not exactly. The day after Glory announced she’s got a tiny basketball in her net (I don’t know what that means), TMZ says Brittney filed for an annulment on their 28-day marriage. Brittney is claiming the marriage was based on “fraud and duress“, adding that Glory “pressured” her into marriage with “threatening statements.” Brittney also pulled a Sherri Shepherd by claiming she has no biological connection to the baby living in Glory’s womb.

Glory has responded to all this by posting (then deleting) an inspirational quote about “unperfect people” on Instragram. Maybe that’s part of the fraud Brittney was talking about? “Your honor, I was lead to believe I was marrying someone who didn’t use made-up words like unperfect.”

Pic: Instagram

Even though most of our brains were like “One of these is enough, really“, Megyn Kelly’s second interview with the Duggar family happened last night. We already knew that Josh Duggar’s sisters Jill and Jessa Duggar have forgiven him for molesting them when he was a teenager, and now we have the rest of what Jill and Jessa Duggar have to say about this whole situation. And while it wasn’t nearly as gross as the first, thanks in part to there being no surprise appearance by the family’s patriarch and puppet master Jim Bob Duggar, it was still pretty depressing. You know things are bleak when you find yourself saying “Well, the good news is, at least we don’t have to stare at Jim Bob Duggar’s creepy Bill Dauterive-looking ass for 29 minutes.”

Megyn Kelly (who sort of looked like she was styled by Carmela Soprano) spent 29 minutes talking to Jill and Jessa, aka letting them recite the answers that were given to them about how what Josh did to them is not that bad, and forgiveness, and he was just a kid, and that yeah, they’re victims, but not like victim victims.

Continue reading

Sa-Fire!

If it was possible, today’s HSOTD would be the old lady at jury duty yesterday who said, “I’m no good before noon, honey,” to the judge when he asked her if there was any reason why she wouldn’t be able to serve. But since I can’t, today’s HSOTD is the next best thing: Sa-Fire! While driving home from jury duty after getting my ass dismissed, a cover of “I Will Survive” by Sa-Fire (which was on the She-Devil soundtrack) played on my iTunes and it was just what I needed. When I got home, I slipped down into a Sa-Fire k-hole of pure glamour and talent on YouTube and I still haven’t crawled out.

Sa-Fire (born name: Wilma Cosmé) was one of the rulers of the freestyle scene in the 80s and 90s. The Puerto Rican freestyle hummingbird from NYC had several dance hits in the 80s. “Don’t Break My Heart,” “Let Me Be The One” and “Boy, I’ve Been Told“ were all hits on the dance charts and “Boy, I’ve Been Told” hit #48 on the Billboard 100. Her debut album, which came out in 1988, was a hit and some highly-esteemed music journalists (aka my cousins) consider it to be one of the greatest freestyle albums of all-time.

The third single off of Sa-Fire’s first album, “Thinking of You,” was her biggest hit. I sang it out loud so many times that those around me probably sang to themselves, “I’m thiiiiiiiiiinking of beating this brat’s ass if he doesn’t stop singing that song.” Sa-Fire wrote this song for her uncle who died of AIDS. Here’s the video where Sa-Fire kind of looks like a Latina Suki Waterhouse (or should I say, Suki Waterhouse looks like a white Sa-Fire). Get ready to sway like a 7th grader at a junior high school dance:

Throughout the 90s and 2000s, Sa-Fire put out more dance hits and she still performs today. (Click here to see her singing “Thinking of You” at the House of Blues last year while wearing Brit Brit’s Onyx Hotel Tour catsuit and wearing it better.)

It also goes without saying that Sa-Fire’s eyebrow situation was no like no other and could easily eat Cara Delawhatever’s eyebrow situation. And now I leave you with one of Sa-Fire first performances. This has everything you need in a performance: Acid wash denim, teased bangs, hot high school talent show moves, immaculate  lip-synching skills, intrigue and mystery (because you’ll ask yourself, “The fuck is going on?”). Come for the acid wash glamour, stay for the dance break at the 3:47 mark.

Pic: Fever Records

Here’s picture proof that tall drink of Swedish leche Alexander Skarsgard and Alexa Chung are a thing. But you know, these pictures are a little weird and kind of unnatural. I mean, if you were dating ASkars, wouldn’t your hand be on his Swedish peen instead of his hand and wouldn’t your legs be wrapped around his neck. That’s what any normal person would do while taking a walk with him. Hmmm…. – Lainey Gossip

The Scientology scientists should get a raise for the Katie Holmes clone they made for Tommy Girl. I mean, she’s even got Katie’s signature look of pure misery – The Superficial

Okay, but what do Bert and Ernie think. That’s who I really want to hear from – Towleroad

It’s Friday, so why not watch this video of ferrets babies following their mommy around? – Hollywood Tuna

Something called a Pia Mia rolls around the sand like a seal in distress – Drunken Stepfather

Here I am at jury duty looking at picture after picture of man nipples and I hope the lady next to me who is staring at my screen is getting the tingles from this – The Berry

Justin Theroux says that he’s a stupid bitch – Celebitchy

Why can’t the punishment for pleading guilty to careless driving of an ATV be life in prison? – Just Jared

Thanks to Chris Christie’s camel toe, I’ve got camel toe on the brain and just spent way too much time looking for one on Hilary Duff – Popoholic

Some dude proposed to his girlfriend with a McDonald’s chicken sandwich. That dude is my soulmate. – Pajiba

In “something that has happened a million times before” news, Chelsea Handler’s nipples are on the internet – IDLYITW

Solid gold is Tim Gunn’s brain melting while reviewing Kummy Kakes‘ koffee table book – Reality Tea

VEINS: Jared Leto’s got some. More than some. – Popsugar

Pic: FameFlynet

According to TMZ, Chris Brown spent most of last night proving he’s still as awful as ever by getting into a loud screaming match with his ex-girlfriend Karrueche Tran outside her house at 3am. Yeah, someone should inform Chris Brown that that’s not typically how you win someone back.

The tragic tale of unrequited douche love began last night when Chris Brown decided to show up to a club he knew Karreuche would be at in his new Lamborghini. He then got a VIP table next to hers, something she wasn’t having, so she decided to leave. That’s when Chris Brown decided to follow her and her friends outside and get into their car, abandoning his Lamborghini. “Uh…he only pulls that shit with cars, right?” thought the mother of Chris Brown’s baby. You can see Chris sort of push his way in and hear someone tell him to “Get out of the car” around the 0:54 mark below.

Sadly, he didn’t get very far; “sources” say Karrueche was pissed off at him and dumped his ass at a friend’s house on the way home. Then around 3:30am, Karrueche had a Say Anything moment when she heard some noise outside her house and saw Chris Brown standing there. Except instead of holding a boombox playing “In Your Eyes“, he was screaming like a raged-up maniac and slamming his fists against her door.

Karrueche wouldn’t let Chris Brown inside, and eventually the police showed up. But they didn’t charge Chris Brown with anything, because he hadn’t really committed a crime. Once they left, Karrueche agreed to meet Chris at a diner so they could talk. Naturally, the screaming kept on going at the diner, so Karrueche left and went home.

There’s so much of this story that is a damn MESS, but the messiest part to me is what happened in the diner. Chris did that diner dirty. A 24-hour diner is a place for stuffing as many eggs and toasts and syrup-soaked pancakes into your mouth as possible in an attempt to prevent the next-level hangover you’re going to get the next day, not for screaming at your ex. RUDE!

Here’s Chris following Karrueche out of the club last night. I will say this: I am feeling Karrueche’s Guns N’ Roses out-of-town groupie couture.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

I don’t know if Pepto-Bismol works this way, but I just chugged an entire bottle hoping it might prevent some of the nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea I will definitely get from reading this awful shit about the Duggars. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Megyn Kelly’s second interview with the Duggars airs tonight, and this time she’s sitting down with two of Josh Duggars molestation victims, his sisters Jill and Jessa. If you were wondering whether the second interview is just as awful as the first, Megyn has pretty much confirmed that, yes, yes it is. Megyn spoke to Extra about her upcoming interview with Jill and Jessa, and she let us know what to expect this evening.

“They started off as your normal 22, 24-year-old girls, a little bubbly, kinda giggly, and then when we really get into it the tears started to flow… imagine how painful that would be… they never chose to have this piece of their family story put out there, and I think they are struggling with what people are assuming about their family and about what happened to them.”

When asked if she thinks Jill and Jessa have forgiven their brother for the shit he did, Megyn answered:

“I do, yeah I do. They told me that. They also talked about the journey from the pain to the forgiveness, and it was not without some bumps in the road.”

Ugh, why do I get the feeling that part of the interview began with Michelle Duggar pulling a cue-card out of her crunchy nest of hair, handing it to Jill and Jessa, and whispering “Now remember, you’ve forgiven Josh. I’ve written down your journey from pain to forgiveness right here if you so happen to forget.”

By the way, the Pepto didn’t work. Turns out it’s no match for the stomach-turning power of this mess.