Usually Spirit Airlines is the one (figuratively) punching passengers in the face by charging us for every damn little thing from choosing a seat that doesn’t make us feel like a sardine to printing out our boarding pass at home. (Soon they’ll be charging us $10 to piss and $30 to lay down a shit.) But on a flight from Baltimore to Los Angeles yesterday morning, a few passengers were the ones doing the punching.

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That’s not a picture of the friends Justin Bieber pulled a drink-and-dash with. At least I don’t think it is. I mean, forget about engaging in some bad kid brat shit with him – most of them look like they don’t even really want to be seen on stage with him.

Regardless of who helped him, TMZ says the ringleader was Justin Bieber and that he can now add Bar Tab Bailing to his bad boy resume. The soggy Coffee Time cruller was in Seattle, WA preparing for the opening night of his Purpose tour. A source tells TMZ that on Sunday night, Justin and seven of his friends went to a bar called The Whisky Bar. Justin and his friends ordered a round of $15 whiskey shots. Just think of the muscles that were pulled halfway to death while Justin tried desperately not to make an “Ew, yucky” face after tasting whiskey for the first time.

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Whoever said journalism has long been dead, buried and is worm shit now obviously doesn’t know that Lindsay Lohan is a guest editor at The Sun. Journalism has risen from the dead!

LiLo took a little time out from traveling the world with her Russian sugary sonny, to butt belch out her first column for The Sun. For her first piece, serious journalist LiLo wrote about how she could’ve smeared some of Harry Styles’ grainy dick cheese all over her freckled crotch crumpet. Remember when the Summer’s Eve Truman Capote named James Franco wrote a short story about the time Lindsay Lohan allegedly broke into his room at the Chateau Marmont and tried to get with him? Well, LiLo apparently sort of got a taste of her own medicine and she says Slutty Styles (copyright: Tumblr) was holding the spoon. LiLo says that early one morning in 2012, she got a knock on her hotel room door and when she opened it up, Harry Styles was on the other side and he wanted to fuck his way to a place on her hump list. Here’s some (maybe) fanfic courtesy of LiLo:

“I didn’t know it was him. He was in a suit. I said, ‘Well, you’re very good-looking – can I help you?’ That was it. He was like, ‘I’m Harry. Gavin and Michael sent me here.’ I was in bed. I was like, ‘I’m going to bed but it was nice to meet you.’ It was 2am, I had just come back from an AA meeting. I looked like shit too. I was wearing a big hotel robe, I had a slip under it. It was not a good look.

It didn’t click who he was at the time. I told my sister the next day and she was like, ‘Wait, are you kidding me? Do you understand? Do you have his number? Can I have it?'”

LiLo went on to say that she recently ran into Harry at a party in L.A. and he said that he knocked on her door at 2am because some friends dared him to.

Lindsay was bumping lubed-up parts with a member of The Wanted (aka the O-Town to One Direction’s Backstreet Boys) in 2012, so I love the thought of her turning down Harry Styles. But maybe this was all just a case of mistaken identity. Maybe the mess who knocked at her door at 2am was really a greasy homeless drug dealer who sold her a baggie of the bad shit once and wanted to make another sale. Confusing a greasy homeless drug dealer with Harry Styles is an honest mistake!

Pics: Wenn.com

And now you’re probably out of a monitor, because you broke yours after punching that picture of Josh Duggar’s “th-th-th-that’s all folks” face. It’s natural. We were all born with that instinct.

Around six months ago, the punchable potato Josh Duggar was sent to a Christian labor camp masquerading as a “treatment center” after he was caught trolling for side poon on Ashley Madison. Josh went there to cure himself of his sinful sinful addiction to loving porn and fucking. That was all just Duggar code for, “We need Joshie to go away for a while until everyone forgets that silly child touching and cheating stuff, so that TLC will give us our show back.” TLC pretty much gave them their show back, so now the factory-defected Mr. Potato Head doll can come out and pretend like his peen is cured from wanting to dive into cooch that isn’t attached to his wife.

Both Entertainment Tonight and People say that Josh Duggar has checked out of the bible-based rehab facility he was in for months. ET says that he left a few days ago and his “whereabouts are unknown.” Well, he’s either showing that praying away his desire to have sex for other than baby-making reasons worked and he’s screwing a pile of hookers in the room of a Comfort Inn somewhere, or he’s rehearsing the post-rehab interview he’s going to do with Megyn Kelly for Fox News. I’m going with the latter.

Of course, Josh’s wife Anna Duggar, who may be knocked up with their 5th child, has forgiven him and will take him back, because she’s been brainwashed into being Michelle Duggar 2.0. Which is why it’s going to be hard watching that inevitable Fox News interview. Anna is most likely going to silently sit there, blinking at Josh like a Furby on caffeine pills as he says that the power of God cured him of his dick’s need to wander….while he punches at his crotch because his dick keeps wanting to wander over to Megyn Kelly.

Pic: Instagram

Even though that picture of Amanda Seyfried and her man is from a play they did last year, I think we can all agree that’s a pretty damn good “coming for your man” stare if there ever was one.

Last week, a bunch of loose lips went to UsWeekly and told them that the come-to-life Margaret Keane painting was getting on her The Last Word co-star Thomas Sadoski. The sources say that Amanda and Matt from Life in Pieces (yes I watch Life in Pieces) became friends last year when they starred in The Way We Get By on Broadway together. But nothing funny happened because Amanda was with Justin Long and Thomas was married. Fast forward to present day, when a conveniently single Amanda and an even more conveniently divorced Thomas reunited on the set of The Last Word and started to get romantic.

According to Radar, it’s all a little too convenient and they’re screaming “Homewrecker!” at Amanda. Radar says that Thomas was definitely still married-married to Kimberly Hope, his wife of eight years, when he met Amanda on Broadway last year. Hollywood divorces are as common as a Kardashian wanting some attention, so Thomas splitting with his wife isn’t exactly that scandalous. But it’s the timing of it all that Radar is side-eyeing. Thomas filed for divorce on August 14, 2015. The next month, Amanda officially called it quits with Justin Long.

Of course, this could all just be a coincidence. Or it could be time to pull out the ink pad and stamp SOLVED on another blind item. Who knows. But one thing is for sure: Anne Hathaway just called up all her friends and started screaming “I knew it! I knew that sneaky thief stole my dress!” Here’s Hollywood’s latest maybe-homewrecking hussy arriving on the set of The Last Word last week with her dog.

Pics: Wenn.com, Robert Ascroft/Theater Mania 

The One Story High Club is a not so well kept secret in most retirement communities. – Shane Yorston

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I can’t believe Whole Foods peeled my parents and then re-packaged them! – tim

Pic: Tosh.0