Lindsay Lohan Has Found Real Love With A Rich Russian Piece

When we last left the freckled tornado of dusty delusion, she had allegedly been kicked out of a bar in NYC for acting like her usual charming self. Between then (early January) and now, she has somehow managed to not spit at another trick during a bar fight, and that’s probably because she’s been too busy putting her mouth on her new serious piece.

A few days ago, LiLo snorted out a picture on Instagram of a headless dude and she added the caption, “I love him.” I thought it was a cardinal high-paid escort sin to publicly post a picture of your client and use the L-O-V-E word when talking about him, but I guess it’s serious. TMZ says that the headless piece is 22-year-old Russian rich kid Egor Tarabasov. Egor, whose dad is a millionaire business mogul in Moscow, lives in London full-time and has his own real estate company there. TMZ says that 29-year-old LiLo has been rubbing her ginger coochie rinds against that Russian peen for 4 months. Another source told The Mirror last month that LiLo is full of happiness and that probably has everything to do with Egor using his daddy’s money to woo her. But I’m not hating on her for that, because as gold digging sage Gwen Guthrie puts it, “No romance without finance.” The source dribbled this out: 

“Lindsay has obviously had some issues in the past, and probably been attracted to the wrong sort of guys, but this is different. She is really happy and a lot of that comes down to meeting Egor. He’s a bit younger than she is, but he’s a very smart businessman. He’s much more mature than his age suggests, and he’s a good influence. Obviously she’s done the older guy thing and that hasn’t ended well, so it’s great to see her with a smile on her face again.

He is a perfect boyfriend and – as he is quite wealthy – pays for quite a lot of stuff like meals out and trips away. He has been travelling the world with her, and posting loads of pictures of their trips online.”

We can’t call Egor her sugar daddy since he’s younger than her. So I guess he’s her sugar sonny.

It’s apparently so serious that LiLo took Egor to New York during Christmas times to meet her fucked-up family. They love him and think he’ll keep her out of trouble.

Wait, so Egor met Dina “White Oprah” Lohan and he still stuck around, and is still in one piece? Is he a robot? Is he an unfeeling alien that took the form of a Russian heir? Because most human dudes would probably dump LiLo on the spot and head to the airport right after a drunken White Oprah slobbered on his shoulder and hit his cheek with a blast of hot booze breath while asking him if he cums vodka since he’s Russian as she tries to snatch his wallet. I mean, a dude who is rich AND doesn’t run after meeting White Oprah? LiLo has truly found her soulmate….until a richer piece comes along.

Here’s another picture from Instagram of LiLo and her Russian sugar sonny:

Pics: Instagram