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We post a lot of dark and tragic stuff (like all the outfits at the MTV Movie Awards) here at Dlisted, so sometimes we all need a post to remind us to keep hope alive. Today’s Open Post is one of those posts. And believe it or not, that isn’t a picture of people asking for help while getting stuck on the same beach where Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris did their loved-up photo shoot.

The U.S. Pacific Fleet posted the picture to its Facebook on Friday along with these guys’ story of survival! While on their way to the Micronesian island of Weno, their boat capsized and they had to swim two miles to Fenadik Island. Now don’t go booking your trips to Fenadik Island, there’s nothing there, especially not dick. The Coast Guard and the Navy finally found them after three days and picked them up Thursday morning. There were safe and there hasn’t been any reports of injuries or anything. Lt. William White, Sector Guam public affairs officer, released a statement saying:

“Our combined efforts, coupled with the willingness of many different resources to come together and help, led to the successful rescue of these three men in a very remote part of the Pacific.”

I’m glad they’re safe, and that we are too, but where’s the Wilson of this? Did one truly get marooned on an island if there’s no Wilson? Wilson? Wilson!

via People)

Many were rooting for La’Porsha Renae to win the last season of American idol and now some of that many are side-eying what she said about the LGBT community: “I am one of the people who don’t really agree with that lifestyle. I wasn’t brought up that way. It wasn’t how I was raised.”

La’Porsha, dost thou not see the irony in thine statement. American Idol is gayer than a manbag full of dicks! Her thoughts and views on the glittery gays were prompted by a reporter asking her what she thought of the new anti-LGBT laws of her home state Mississippi. La’Porsha also gave everyone new information by saying that gay people are people too and said that she has a lot of gay friends and she loves them. via NewNowNext.

“This is how I feel about the LGBT community: They are people just like us. They’re not animals as someone stated before. They’re people with feelings. Although all of us may not agree with that particular lifestyle for religious reasons, whatever the reason is, you still treat each other with respect. Everybody is a human being. We should be able to coexist with one another. I am one of the people who don’t really agree with that lifestyle. I wasn’t brought up that way. It wasn’t how I was raised. But I do have a lot of friends and a lot of people that I love dearly who are gay and homosexual and they’re such sweet, nice people. We should just respect each other’s differences and opinions and move on.”

La’Porsha also tweeted this after the internet hit back at her:

We don't have to agree with each other's life choices to love/respect one another. Live and let live. #RENAETION #RespectThatWeAreDifferent

— La'Porsha~Renae (@laporsharenae) April 9, 2016

Lots of American Idol winners and losers probably pay they bills from performing at regional gay clubs and third-tier pride events, but something tells me La’Porsha Renae isn’t going to be asked to perform at the after-after party for Fresno Pride anytime soon.

Pic: Wenn

The huge stars came out last night for the taping of the MTV Movie Awards. Well, a few did. Okay, like one or two. We still got some big names and a few people with actual talent. While not one of said talented people, the standout of the night was clearly Gigi Hadid. She worked that child prostitute blow-up doll glamour harder than she ever has! She and her team were like, “Brigitte Bardot with a rattle! That’ll get the cameras flashing!”

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This presidential election season has been pretty celebrity-heavy and thank God for that, because we need desperately need them to use their political insight to show us the way. George and Amal Clooney are throwing VERY expensive dinners for Hillary Clinton and Rosario Dawson is rallying the crowds for BernFest2k16. And then there’s the really elite, top of the top, cream of the crop celebrity crew coming together to support orange turd, Donald Trump! And one of those elite supporters is Kirstie Alley.

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Jumpy, the multi-talented border collie mix who is a highly-skilled Hollywood stunt dog and a highly-skilled artiste!

A human named Omar von Muller trains dogs for movies and TV and shit, and Jumpy seems to be one of his most-talented stars! Jumpy is a master skateboard rider and wall jumper, etc…But when Jumpy isn’t performing magnificent stunts, he goes to his studio with his human and makes stunning works of art. Omar has already posted videos of Jumpy autographing his name, and yesterday he posted another video that proves that Jumpy can master a paintbrush better than many of our asses. This video will also make you ask the question, “Was Bob Ross reincarnated as a border collie mix named Jumpy?” Because while Jumpy lacks Bob Ross’ exquisite dandelion fro, he definitely has Bob Ross’ gift of stroking. (Not that kind of stroking, you sucio bitches!)

If you stuck a paint brush in my mouth and used a wand to show me where to paint, I still wouldn’t produce the complex and gorgeous landscape that Jumpy produced. It’s very French Impressionism. Just call him Paws Monet!

Jumpy doesn’t only make gorgeous landscapes, he also gets into ~controversial~ political performant art. In this video, which I’m sure will be shown at the Whitney very soon, Jumpy makes you think he’s endorsing Trump for POTUS, but at the very end, he pisses out his true feelings. Art students will study the depths of this artistic commentary for decades to come!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hd3L5P7LBLI

So let’s see, Jumpy is an amazing Hollywood performer and a versatile artiste. Why do we need Shia LaBeouf when we have Jumpy?! And Jumpy probably has less fleas too.

via Tastefully Offensive