The ex-employee of a Red White And Blue Thrift Store who delivered a truly poetic parting shot over the intercom system after his ass was fired!

Disclaimer: That is probably not a picture of the exact Red White And Blue Thrift Store where a scorned trick delivered a sweet goodbye speech to his ex bosses, but it’ll have to do, because sadly, the scorned trick didn’t pucker up for the camera in the video he shot.

If you ever need a quick tutorial on how to make sure that a past job never ever gives you a good recommendation in this lifetime or the next, here it is. Flyheight (via Bro Bible) posted a cell phone video taken by a mad as hell employee of a Red White And Blue Thrift Store who let his rage out over the intercom system after picking up his last check. The fired employee’s delivery lacks the poised elegance of Arnetta the Moodsetta’s legendary exit monologue and the charisma and theater of Steven Slater’s slide to sweet freedom, but it still may be an inspiration to all of you who hate your jobs.

After he grabbed his last check and spit out a sarcasm-covered “thank you,” the scorned employee made his way to the intercom and spit this into the ears of customers, employees and managers. You do have to give him points for keeping it professional by starting off with “Attention customers.”

“Attention customers, the managers of Red White And Blue are cunts. Fucking cunts who do drugs all fucking day. They’re cunts and they fired my ass when I ain’t called off one motherfucking time.”

After he delivered a red, white and fuck you speech to everyone in the store, he continued to let his ex-managers knows what he thinks of their asses. Get into the spurned bitch glory of it all!

As Bro Bible points out, that speech may give you shades of Scarface’s “fuck you, I’m out” speech from Half-Baked. Because the Internet has lied to us so many times, I wouldn’t be surprised if that video is viral marketing for a soon-to-be-announced Half-Baked sequel. But if it’s real and I was in the store at the time, I’d probably go up to a manager and say, “I don’t really have much experience, but I’m a cunt and smoking the good shit all day sounds perfect to me, so can I apply to be a manager?”

Pic: Yelp (Thanks to Lacey and Andrew)

Cynthia Nixon (50)
Elle Fanning (18)
Kristen Stewart (26)
Jesse McCartney (29)
Jazmine Sullivan (29)
Leighton Meester (30)
Jay Baruchel (34)
Albert Hammond, Jr. (36)
Yoanna House (36)
Keisha Knight Pulliam (37)
Rachel Stevens (38)
Gerard Way (39)
Sunny Anderson (41)
Jenna Jameson (42)
Austin Peck (45)
Mark Pellegrino (51)
Paulina Porizkova (51)
Marc Jacobs (53)
Joe Scarborough (53)
Martin Margiela (59)
Dennis Quaid (62)
Michael Learned (77)
Hugh Hefner (90)

Pic: Getty

“Shit, these paparazzi are totally taking a picture of my bad side. And thank God that Mami JLo can’t read minds or she’d totally dock my allowance for cursing.” – Casper Smart while kissing his sugar mami JLo goodbye at LAX last night – Lainey Gossip 

Things that Johnny Depp hates more than bathing: His 16-year-old daughter dating a 24-year-old – Celebitchy

You can almost hear Bella Thorne thinking to herself, “And a one..two…three..FLASH!” – The Superficial

Okay, but does the white guy who won American Idol play guitar? – Reality Tea 

Please tell me Taylor Swift’s cats did that to her jeans because they got sick of her taking their pictures for Instagram likes – Popoholic

I don’t hate Carly Rae Jepsen’s video for “Boy Problems” and I just admitted that out loud – Towleroad

Bitch Went Down (Again): The Demi Lovato Edition – IDLYITW

Walking to your car in front of the paps every day does an ass good – Drunken Stepfather

My teenage hero – Boy Culture

Cameron Diaz is either trying to pop a zit on the sly or she’s flipping a trick off – Celebslam

Demi Lovato vs. Stalker Sarah – Just Jared

Behold, Hilary Duff’s Glamour Shot!  – The Berry 

And yet, the off-tempo version of  Smash Mouth’s “All-Star” makes more sense than the original – HuffPo

Here’s Miranda Kerr giving you “mah neck is cold, but mah midriff is hot” – Hollywood Tuna 

It’s disappointing that Aaron Paul doesn’t have a front license plate that reads: BIITCH – Moe Jackson

I’d hit it, I’d hit it, I’d hit it, I’d hit it, I’d hit it, I’d hit it aaaand I’d hit it – Popsugar

Pic: Splash

This twisted-up side show of a presidential election is far from being over, but if it was solely up to the people of Dlisted, we’d all be fucked Birdie Sanders would easily win. When Birdie Sanders flew into a Bernie Sanders rally in Portland, OR, that fame whore bird also flew into the hearts of the Internet and Dlisted. Birdie Sanders won March’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown with almost 36% of your votes. Birdie beat out Photoshop hero Sevelyn Gat, the pussy leader of a gang of Chihuahuas and my current favorite rapper CupcaKke!

Birdie Sanders will now go on to the Hot Slut of the Year finals. By then, Birdie Sanders could be the Vice President of the United States if Bernie Sanders wins the nomination and does the right thing by making Birdie his running mate.

Thanks to everyone who voted! And now I leave you with this slightly terrifying mural of our current HSOTM in Bernie Sanders’ campaign office in Portland. I don’t see a bird in Bernie Sanders cosplay, but I do see a bird in low-budget Andy Warhol cosplay, and that works for me.

Pics: Getty, WW

Bruce Springsteen brought sad, sad news to the tricks in North Carolina who were hoping to get boozed up on Bud and bust out some sweet moves to “Dancing in the Dark” at his show in Greensboro on Sunday night. The show isn’t going to happen and it’s all because of that shitty HB2 bill that states that transgender people must use the public bathroom that matches their birth certificate, and it also makes it impossible for an employee to sue over discrimination. The Boss announced on his website today that he’s showing support for the people fighting the bill by canceling his concert on Sunday night at the Greensboro Coliseum. The Boss isn’t having that shit.

As you, my fans, know I’m scheduled to play in Greensboro, North Carolina this Sunday. As we also know, North Carolina has just passed HB2, which the media are referring to as the “bathroom” law. HB2 — known officially as the Public Facilities Privacy and Security Act — dictates which bathrooms transgender people are permitted to use. Just as important, the law also attacks the rights of LGBT citizens to sue when their human rights are violated in the workplace. No other group of North Carolinians faces such a burden. To my mind, it’s an attempt by people who cannot stand the progress our country has made in recognizing the human rights of all of our citizens to overturn that progress. Right now, there are many groups, businesses, and individuals in North Carolina working to oppose and overcome these negative developments. Taking all of this into account, I feel that this is a time for me and the band to show solidarity for those freedom fighters. As a result, and with deepest apologies to our dedicated fans in Greensboro, we have canceled our show scheduled for Sunday, April 10th. Some things are more important than a rock show and this fight against prejudice and bigotry — which is happening as I write — is one of them. It is the strongest means I have for raising my voice in opposition to those who continue to push us backwards instead of forwards.

And you know, transphobic rap sensation MH Weibe is going to show up at the Greensboro Coliseum on Sunday and say, “Um, I can fill in!”

Pic: Wenn.com

Because I’m sure Lindsay Lohan’s client list has included a millionaire Indian business man or two, she was a guest at tonight’s Asian Awards in London, and she and her latest face showed up looking as prim and pristine as a freshly starched and pressed nun’s collar.

LiLo’s boyfriend is supposedly a rich Russian trust fund kid and so she could wear the finest ~fashuns~ his AMEX could buy, but instead, she decided to go simple with a dress made from Rhoda’s old dusty bedroom curtains and she went so simple that she didn’t wear a bra under that sheer shit. If you were wondering if LiLo’s freckled chest balls are still allergic to being lifted by a bra, you got your answer! Yes, someone probably mistook her barely-covered chichi for some kind of uncooked Indian dumpling and tried to bite it during dinner, but that’s a small price to pay for looking as sophisticated as LiLo looked tonight!

Pics: Wenn.com, FameFlynet