I’m sorry, but in that hat and those pants, Justin Timberlake is in no position to be busting out such hardcore “embarrassed to be standing next to you” body language on Lance Bass. But back to what’s really important: the fact that Lance Bass apparently wasn’t invited to Justin Timberlake’s Italian wedding (ft. Jessica Biel) back in 2012. Okay, I could see not mailing an invitation to Joey Fatone, because that dude strikes me as the type of wedding guest to get drunk on red wine and try to have a three-way with Grandma Timberlake and the ice sculpture swan on the buffet table. But Lance Bass? I said it up top and I’ll say it again. Rude!

Lance admitted that he never got to RSVP to Justin’s $6.5 million marriage spectacular/poor-taste short film screening on a recent episode of Kancelled with Khloe (via Entertainment Tonight). Khloe Kardashian began by asking Lance if Justin Timberlake showed up to his 2014 wedding. The non-blond members of *NSYNC showed up (Joey, JC Chasez, and Chris Kirkpatrick), but no JT, because JT was on tour. Then Khloe asked point-blank if he was invited to JT’s wedding, and Lance gave us this awkward moment:

The “we” that Lance is referring to in his “we were not” is the rest of *NSYNC. Shortly after Justin’s wedding, Chris Kirkpatrick admitted to Orlando’s XL 106.7 that he wasn’t invited, and heard that the rest of the boy band wasn’t either because Justin didn’t want their reunion to yank the spotlight away from his bride. “If anyone is going to steal the spotlight from my bride, it’s gonna be me.“

Justin wasn’t exactly wrong. I don’t know about the rest of *NSYNC, but Lance Bass would definitely steal every last ounce of attention from Jessica Biel. All it would take is for Lance Bass to accidentally flash that dazzling incandescent light bulb smile of his as she begins walking down the aisle, and everyone would be like “Ugh, Jessica, go around!”

Here’s more of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel at the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea last night. I don’t know why Jessica is dressed like a goth Col. Sanders at the club, but I’m into it.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

Finally, food porn is taking orally transmitted diseases seriously. – Shane Yorston

Upvote winner:

Do you have any other condoments? – Mother Chucker

Pic: Reddit 

The couple who had their priorities completely in check when they mouth fucked during an armed robbery at a bar in Montana!

I’ve always said that nothing should stop you from getting dick (or lips in this case). The only time you should pry yourself away from your piece is when Keeping Up with the Kartrashians comes on TV, and even then, you can use the remote to change the channel all sneaky-like while keeping your mouth on your piece. This couple definitely knows what I’m talking about, because while the bar they were in was getting held up by thieves with guns, they kept on making out as criminal fuckery happened around them.

KTVQ reports that on 1:15 on Monday morning, two masked dudes with guns busted into the Tap Inn bar and casino in Billings, Montana and demanded cash from the register. As one robber held a gun at the bartender, another one circled the place. There were a few customers in the bar, including a dude and a chick who didn’t let a little thing called “armed robbery” get in the way of their love. They kept on kissing and loving on each other and they only stopped when the robbers left. My heroes!

Thankfully, nobody was hurt. The robbers haven’t been caught.

Those lovebirds may have become even bigger heroes in your heart after you watched that video, because it seems like their PDA session was a survival strategy. If they stopped kissing and watched what was going on, the robbers may have pointed a gun at them. So they just keep on kissing like nothing. PDA is gross, but this kind of PDA is genius. I hope none of us are ever in this situation, but if we are, I hope there’s a hot piece sitting next to us so we can say, “QUICK! Pull down your pants and let me suck your dick now. It’s the only way we’ll survive!”

Samantha Fox (50)
Maisie Williams (19)
Cody Christian (21)
Emma Watson (26)
Eliza Doolittle (28)
Samira Wiley (29)
Alice Braga (33)
Ester Dean (34)
Seth Rogen (34)
Patrick Carney (36)
Luke Evans (37)
Chris Stapleton (38)
Susan Ward (40)
Danny Pino (42)
Jason Sehorn (45)
Flex Alexander (46)
Dara Torres (49)
Linda Perry (51)
Emma Thompson (57)
Linda Bloodworth-Thomason (69)
Claudia Cardinale (78)
Roy Clark (83)

Pic: Splash

Roasted tampon Sean Penn and Minka Kelly posed together at a charity event so now people are wondering if SeaMin is alive again?! Well, judging by her “I’m just posing with this flaming bag of butt plugs because I want to end up on The Daily Mail” face, I’d say probably not – Lainey Gossip 

“WUT?” pretty much sums up the situation on Hailee Steinfeld’s body – Drunken Stepfather

JLo says that dancers are better fucks than musicians and I was about to say that she dissed herself, but she’s as much of a musician as my dog’s chew toy is – Celebitchy

Um, is Iggy Azalea John Cusack’s stalker per chance? – The Superficial 

Yolanda Foster Hadid (or whatever the hell she’s going by now) got a book deal – Reality Tea 

“Bitch, I’ll take your ass to small claims” and other gems from a scorned Janet Jackson fan – Towleroad

FYI: JoJo’s nipple looks like this – (NSFWish) The Nip Slip 

AMC Theaters found a new way to say “We fucking hate our customers and want them to suffer” – Pajiba

Emma Watson’s jeans are just all kinds of 90s mom tragic – Popoholic

I don’t know who Chloe Sims is, but I do know that she is giving me morning shower on a spring day freshness – Hollywood Tuna

If Mama June was raised in the Duck Dynasty family… – OMG Blog 

So I guess the sequel will be called Shriveled Dick Tracy then…. – Boy Culture

Here’s ScarJo in Ghost in the Shell and it gets a nope from me. They should’ve cast Emma Stone instead. Nobody plays Asian like she does – Just Jared

Why isn’t “take hits from a bong in between fapping” on this list? – The Berry 

Why do I have a feeling that Pimp Mama Kris is about to leak a threesome sex tape starring Khlozilla, Shrek Montana and Kylie Jenner? – Starcasm

And here’s Duchess Kate doing the “ooops I pooted because you pulled out too fast” laugh – Popsugar

Pic: Getty

As little Beauregard Cotton Reynolds (I’m guessing that’s the name they’re going with) grows inside of Blake Lively’s body and little David Silver II grows inside of Megan Fox’s body, a second child is maybe-growing inside of Eva Mendes’ body. The CASE OF THE BABIES is hitting everyone in Hollywood. There must be something in the water and that something must be jizz. Now that I mention it, the water in L.A. has been smelling like bleach and tasting like lukewarm egg whites lately. The L.A. County water district should sweeten it up a bit by adding pineapple extract.

UsWeekly has heard from multiple orgasms (for real typo and it stays) that 35-year-old Ryan Gosling humped another GosBaby into his 42-year-old piece of 5 years Eva Mendes. They don’t have any other details other than that Eva was trying to hide her baby-growing-area during a photo shoot a couple of months ago.

Eva Mendes has another bun in the oven! Multiple sources confirm exclusively to Us Weekly that the actress and her longtime boyfriend, Ryan Gosling, are expecting their second child together.

According to a source, the mom of daughter Esmeralda, 17 months, was spotted hiding her burgeoning bump during a photo shoot in Los Angeles in February.

Since their daughter’s name is Esmerelda, I’m going to place a bet on them naming their second child….wait for it….wait for it….Quasimodo! No, they’ll name it Marlon Brando Jr.

Eva and Ryan almost always have a “privacy please” sign hanging over the door to their lives, so they’ll probably never confirm this news. They didn’t really confirm it the first time. I get it, but can they stop being ~ohsoprivate~ and selfish for a second to pose for pictures at an event together? Because every time there’s news about them, I have to use the same damn picture of her looking like a bootleg Norma Desmond and him looking ten layers of stoned.

And it seems like all of the Ryans in Hollywood are having babies, so I bet Ryan Seacrest just felt a kick in his stomach. I hope Simon Cowell’s the daddy!

Pic: Wenn.com