JessTin TimberBiel’s Wedding Cost $6.5 Million

October 20, 2012 / Posted by:

The extremely reliable (read: not at all reliable) says that Justin Timberlake is worth $70 million and Jessica Biel is worth $18 million, so if the extremely reliable Radar (read: not really reliable) is telling the truth, then they spent around 7% of their combined net worth on a week-long wedding party that lasted half as long as their marriage is going to last. Shitting on money is fun!

A source tells Radar that Jessica and Justin’s wedding might be one of the most expensive celebrity weddings of all time. They beat Tommy Girl and Katie Holmes’ $3.5 million wedding and Kim Kardashian’s $6 million wedding to that brain dead cave bear who wowed humanity by learning how to dribble a ball. Jessica and Justin spent the $6.5 million on a private jet, a fireworks show, a week of activities, dick in a boxes for everyone and they rented out the entire Borgo Egnazia resort in Italy.

Personally, I think the only things you need to make a wedding special are a kiddie pool full of beer, any kind of cake, a mix-tape full of Kool and the Gang songs and a drunk auntie who will face plant when the bride throws her bouquet of grocery store flowers. Nobody needs a $6.5 million wedding. But you know, Jessica Biel clung to Justin so hard that she practically sewed her mouth lips to his ass lips, so she worked hard for that wedding. Congratulations to you, Jessica!

Here’s one of Justin and Jessica’s guests smiling for the paps as she left that fancy resort in Italy today. Brit Brit, pull your dress down, you dirty bitch! As tempting as your Pillsbury dough ass cakes are, Justin is a married bitch now. It ain’t going to happen.

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