It Looks Like Everybody In Hollywood Is Growing A Baby In Their Body

April 14, 2016 / Posted by:

As little Beauregard Cotton Reynolds (I’m guessing that’s the name they’re going with) grows inside of Blake Lively’s body and little David Silver II grows inside of Megan Fox’s body, a second child is maybe-growing inside of Eva Mendes’ body. The CASE OF THE BABIES is hitting everyone in Hollywood. There must be something in the water and that something must be jizz. Now that I mention it, the water in L.A. has been smelling like bleach and tasting like lukewarm egg whites lately. The L.A. County water district should sweeten it up a bit by adding pineapple extract.

UsWeekly has heard from multiple orgasms (for real typo and it stays) that 35-year-old Ryan Gosling humped another GosBaby into his 42-year-old piece of 5 years Eva Mendes. They don’t have any other details other than that Eva was trying to hide her baby-growing-area during a photo shoot a couple of months ago.

Eva Mendes has another bun in the oven! Multiple sources confirm exclusively to Us Weekly that the actress and her longtime boyfriend, Ryan Gosling, are expecting their second child together.

According to a source, the mom of daughter Esmeralda, 17 months, was spotted hiding her burgeoning bump during a photo shoot in Los Angeles in February.

Since their daughter’s name is Esmerelda, I’m going to place a bet on them naming their second child….wait for it….wait for it….Quasimodo! No, they’ll name it Marlon Brando Jr.

Eva and Ryan almost always have a “privacy please” sign hanging over the door to their lives, so they’ll probably never confirm this news. They didn’t really confirm it the first time. I get it, but can they stop being ~ohsoprivate~ and selfish for a second to pose for pictures at an event together? Because every time there’s news about them, I have to use the same damn picture of her looking like a bootleg Norma Desmond and him looking ten layers of stoned.

And it seems like all of the Ryans in Hollywood are having babies, so I bet Ryan Seacrest just felt a kick in his stomach. I hope Simon Cowell’s the daddy!


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