Open Post: Hosted By A Baby-Goat-Sitting Pooch
Note to Disney: If you want your sequel to Mary Poppins to be extremely entertaining, highly marketable, multi-layered and well below budget, fire Emily Blunt immediately and replace her with the hugely photogenic Betty the Pyrenean Mountain Dog. The children can all be played by baby pygmy goats. I mean, all Disney has to do is throw a Mary Poppins hat on Betty’s head, tape an umbrella handle to her paw and show 90 minutes of this video. It’d be better than the original!
Actually, since Betty is a mountain dog, maybe she’d be better for the lead in The Sound of Music movie remake. I bet she can howl out “Do-Re-Mi” like no other.
There Could Be A Chance That Jennifer Garner Would Consider Taking Ben Affleck Again
I know, there’s not nearly enough maybe/possibly/could be’s in that title up above. But when it comes to dealing with “sources“, that’s the kind of set-up you need.
UsWeekly says that several sources have talked them about the current status of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck’s not together-yet-not not together relationship. The last time we checked in on Bennifer 2.0, Ben was reportedly trying to win his wife back, a task he only took a break from to sneak in a quick Uber fight with a “mystery blonde” in Miami. According to a source, Ben has been putting in the work, and things aren’t as greasy as they were last July.
“A lot of the damage in their relationship has been mended. They’re in a really good place.”
Apparently being on his best behavior and being on an extended vacation is starting to pay off for Ben. Ben and Jen have been living in London with their kids since April while he films The Justice League Part One. A friend close to Jen tells UsWeekly that being overseas has “rekindled the flame” and that she “would get back together with him.” However, UsWeekly might not want to layout a “STRONGER THAN THE NANNY” cover just yet. A source close to Ben says that’s not going to happen.
“Ben and Jen are not getting back together. They’re co-parenting and showing the kids Europe while he’s there filming. That’s all it is and they’re happy with this arrangement.”
Who even knows what the hell is happening. Jen might be re-ordering another box of personalized Mrs. Ben Affleck stationary. Then again, she might not. You know, maybe Ben and Jen could sit their loose-lipped friends and close sources down and give them a quick rundown on what’s happening with their relationship. Or better yet, ask them to run their “exclusive information” by each other first before they call up UsWeekly to prevent any contradictory gossip. Being a blabbermouth friend or close source requires at least a minimum level of professionalism, you guys.
Pic: Splash
Michael Bay Responded To The Shit Kate Beckinsale Said About Working With Him
On The Graham Norton Show last week, Kate Beckinsale briefly talked about what it’s like working with Michael Bay on Pearl Harbor. Kate said that she was told that if she got the role of a 1940s nurse she had to work out, and she pointed out that Michael Bay told reporters while pimping out the movie that he cast her in the role because she’s not so attractive that she’d alienate female movie goers. On a Michael Bay scale from ten tanks exploding in a row to ten tanks exploding in a row as chicks in bikinis wash Ferraris, that story was somewhere in the middle. It’s not the most Michael Bay story I’ve heard. It’s not like he asked Kate Beckinsale to shoot a scene where she ripped off her nurse’s uniform and while she used it to stop an injured patient’s wound from bleeding, the camera got a close-up of her ass in a white lace thong. Watch that scene be in the 20th anniversary DVD of Pearl Harbor.
The fun house mirror David Spade (and yes, I would) defended himself on his site by saying that yes, he asked Kate to work out, but he claims most actors filming an action movie need to work out. Michael Bay didn’t deny saying what he said about Kate to reporters, but he did say that they’re totally friends.
Calvin Harris Dumped Taylor Swift Because They Were More Like Friends….
Having been dumped a few times for a few reasons, I will say that the reason that really makes my blood boil into a thick mixture of rage is when the dude says shit like, “I just realized that we’re probably better off as friends.” Because that’s a total cop-out way of saying that he likes talking about last week’s Real Housewives episode with me at brunch, but he’d rather bareback fuck a jagged-edged can of mushy peas than put his peen anywhere near me again. Well, apparently, Taylor Swift’s favorite Dream Phone guy Calvin Harris dropped her ass because he’s just not into her like that.
Kate Moss Is Probably Still With Her 28-Year-Old Boyfriend
Yesterday, The Daily Mail reported that Kate Moss had broken up with her 28-year-old boyfriend with the soap opera villain name, Count Nikolai von Bismarck, and was currently catwalking her 42-year-old business all over the 18-year-old son of the director of Love Actually. Neither Kate nor her teenage maybe-boyfriend Jake Curtis had confirmed that they were dating. But something must have happened last night, because as of today, that DM article about Kate and Jake no longer exists. I knew Kate could make a white line disappear in the blink of an eye, but she may also have the power to make stories quickly vanish too!
And as you can see, Count Nikolai von Bismarck appears to be back in the picture. Last night was the launch of Kate’s new clothing line and she brought Count Nicki as her date. Kate’s clothing launch was held at the Chiltern Firehouse Hotel, so I figured that maybe Kate had to bring Count as her date because her other boyfriend was too young to be in a bar. But then I did a little research and discovered that the legal drinking age in London is 18, so technically she could have brought him. Maybe she had to bring Count because she needed someone who had at least a couple of years of alcohol tolerance building under his belt and could watch out for her when she inevitably gets drunk and stumbly. Always bring a date who won’t get drunk off of one beer and can make sure you don’t end up riding down a staircase on your ass.
Here’s more of Kate and Count at her fashion launch last night, as well as some of them leaving the Chiltern Firehouse the next morning. I don’t know if Kate is wearing an outfit from her new clothing line, but if she is, then I’m interested. 1979 banquet hall bandleader is always a good look.
Justin Bieber Was Spotted On What Might Have Been A Date With Rita Ora
I know that grainy picture looks like it was taken with a hidden camera stolen from the set of What Would You Do? with John Quiñones, so allow me to explain what you’re looking at. The surprised one in the hat is one of the music industry’s most prolific hookup artists, Rita Ora. The dude in a hoodie giving you douche vibes to the right of her is Justin Bieber. As if I had to tell you; I’m sure you could spot his patchy lil’ teen boy lip hairs a mile away. And according to TMZ, they’re on a date. Or at least whatever Justin Bieber’s idea of a date is, which looks like eating food and acting like a dumbass in front of the paps.
One day after his ex was spotted at a club with sensitive Canadian Drake (who Hollywood Life claims Justin “warned” her about his player ways), Justin and Rita were seen at a club in Hollywood. They left together in Bieber’s pow-pow-Power Wheels at around 2am and drove to an all-night diner. No word on what they did after that, but my guess is either sex, or hitting up a 24-hour Rite Aid to discuss their favorite brand of cheap hair bleach.
I mentioned earlier that Justin was acting like a dingleberry in front of the paps that were waiting for them outside the restaurant. As you can see below, Rita walked in like a normal person. Meanwhile, Justin swaggered in with his hoodie zipped up around his face, with one hand pointing at the paps and the other on his pee-pee. If these pictures had sound, I’m sure Justin would be saying: “You, move. Justin had too many big boy drinks at the club and need to make tinkle.”
Pics: Splash