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Billy Bush Will Probably Soon Return To TV On The One Network That Still Likes Him
It’s been over two years since Billy Bush was fired from Today for his smarmy role in Pussygate AKA the scandal that launched a million pink pussy knit hats. Since then the fallen apple of the Bush Dynasty (which is sadly not a delicious Chinese Restaurant) has gotten divorced, helped his daughter through sobriety, and been on a voyage of self-discovery with Tony Robbins. Now he’s ready to end his exile and find a way to weasel his way back onto the small screen. Lucky for Billy, Extra has announced that they are moving from NBC to Fox this autumn, and they are looking for a pro-pussy grabbing host to join the team.
Melissa Joan Hart Told Her Kids That She Doesn’t Know If Non-Jesus Believers Are Good People
Melissa Joan Hart has gone public with her amazing transformation from Sabrina The Teenage Witch to Ice Cold Middle-Aged Holy Judgmental Bitch. You can go ahead and add Melissa to the list of former pre-teen idols that has fallen on hard times. Melissa has gone public with her innermost beliefs, which are that if you don’t believe in Sweet Baby Jesus, you are basically a terrible person who should stay away from her kids. This has many people calling her a lo-fi anti-Semetic.
Pottermore Says That Wizards Used To Just Shit On The Floor At Hogwarts
Harry Potter fans just can’t let the series rest, and as long as author J.K. Rowling is alive, they will harass her for any scrap of wizarding info she can throw down their thirsty muggle throats. On the Harry Potter fan site Pottermore, fans got a bit more than they bargained yesterday, on National Trivia Day, when it was revealed that before Hogwarts had plumbing, wizards used to shit and pee wherever they were standing and then vanish the evidence with magic. 99% of Harry Potter fans are disgusted by this news. The other 1% just started their own special Harry Potter fan site for wannabe wizard nerds that are also into anachronistic poop play. Continue reading
Demi Lovato And Her New Man Are Instagram Official
Despite Demi Lovato‘s recent plea to everyone to leave her the eff alone about her near death OD, there is one piece of personal info that she is happily serving up today. Demi has gone Instagram official with the news that she has upgraded her “sober companion” to her “slobber companion”, as she posted a video of her kissing her current purse holder, oh-so-edgy clothing designer Henri Levy.
Cardi B’s Publicist Threatened To Smack Down A Woman In The Sydney Airport
Cardi B‘s publicist Patientce is proving to be the hardest working bitch in the PR game since Lizzie Grubman. We’ve been waiting for a PR champ to step into the ring and do something more noteworthy than arrange PR marriages and suspiciously-timed charity donations, and Patientce is BRINGING IT.
Earlier this month, Patientce arranged for Offset to crash Cardi’s set with half a stage worth of flowers spelling out “Take Me Back Cardi“. Now Patientce has stepped up her publicist duties big time. She threatened to whoop a woman for back-talking Cardi when their entourage arrived in Sydney Airport yesterday. Publicist and bodyguard in one – Patientce is who you want in your corner!
Kanye West Is Pissed At Drake (Again) Over Kim Kardashian
The Kanye West vs. Drake beef that never seems to end (ever) reminds me of the fancy sport cricket, or even better, the long play version of cricket called a test match. It’s an extended game that usually lasts five days or even longer if you’re an extremely unlucky spectator. It’s the athletic equivalent of watching paint dry, and not for anyone less than the die hard cricket fan. This rivalry is becoming the cricket test match of celebrity feuds, ie. it is so boring I forgot we were still supposed to be paying attention. But apparently we are, because Kanye is pissed at some old Drake news that’s had him throwing a tanty all over Twitter this morning. Someone call this feud off already so we can all go out for pitchers and slices!