Beavis and Butthead’s crackhead Uncle Kid Rock has pulled a Tyler Perry and paid off all of the layaways at his local Nashville Walmart. I don’t know why I’m getting skinny Cousin Eddie emptying out his “shitter” into Clark Griswold’s storm water drain vibes from this story, but hey, it’s all in the spirit of Christmas.
According to TMZ, Kid was inspired to do this selfless (sure), charitable act by Good Samaritan Tyler Perry, who cleared the layaway bills at two Atlanta area Walmarts to the tune of $434,000. That’s a lot of protein powder and Foreman Grills. Kid himself spent $81,000 to wipe the tab at his local Nashville Walmart. Unlike Tyler, who had wished to remain anonymous until he was outed, Kid was quick to name check Tyler while giving himself a little pat on the back:
@tylerperry Great idea! I followed your lead and paid off the layaway at my local Walmart in Nashville. Merry Christmas and God Bless You!
— Kid Rock (@KidRock) December 7, 2018
I’m sure that Kid is a real upstanding stalwart of his community (uh huh) and a constant doers of good deeds (cough cough), but methinks the timing of this act is a little suspect. It was only a few days ago that he was ousted from his gig as Grand Marshall of Nashville’s Christmas Parade after calling Joy Behar a “bitch” on live television. It sounds like the little matter of damage control was a deciding factor behind the move, and what better what to re-ingratiate yourself into your local community than by buying off the honor?
ut honestly, does Kid really have a spare $81,000 to donate? Did that Sheryl Crow duet that haunts my insomnia nights really rake in that much cash? I wouldn’t be surprised if we see a Go Fund Me to pay Kid’s bills pop up any day now. I hope the good Walmart shopping citizens of Nashville hurry up and claim their gifts before the offer is revoked!