Billy Bush’s “Feel Sorry For Me” Tour Has Begun…

May 22, 2017 / Posted by:

It’s been 7 months since our ears were terrorized by the sound of douchey bobblehead doll Billy Bush giggling after Donald Trump bragged about grabbing pussies without permission. Since then, Billy Bush has been drying his unemployed tears on the millions of dollars NBC gave him to go the hell away while an unscathed Trump is in the White House and getting his pussy-grabbing hand swatted away by the First Lady.

Right after the tape leaked and killed Billy Bush’s job, he dribbled out an apology, but he’s mostly kept his lips closed about that mess until he talked to The Hollywood Reporter last week. Billy Bush not only looks like a ventriloquist’s dummy, but in this interview, it seems like his publicist shoved their fist up his ass and did the talking for him.

After he got fired from the Today show, Billy says he did some “soul searching” by walking on hot coals with Tony Robbins (I CAN’T!!!) and by spending time at a $5,000-a-week Napa Valley healing retreat. That tape was over 10 years old when it came out. So I think by saying that he went to a healing retreat to do some “soul searching” he really means that he went so that he could say he went while doing damage control interviews like this one.

Billy says he also spent a lot of time with his family, including his then-15-year-old daughter who called him from boarding school after the tape came out and cried while asking him why he laughed at what Jabba the Trump said. Billy now wishes he didn’t laugh:

“Looking back upon what was said on that bus, I wish I had changed the topic. [Trump] liked TV and competition. I could’ve said, ‘Can you believe the ratings on whatever?’ But I didn’t have the strength of character to do it.”

As for The Pussy Grabber-In-Chief, Billy hasn’t heard a thing from Trump since the tape leaked and thinks it’s ironic that he lost his job while Trump got the biggest job in the country:

“I will admit the irony is glaring. [Trump] has his process for his participation [in the tape], and I have mine.”

Billy was asked if he thinks Trump was serious about the pussy grabbing grossness, and his mouth released this river of bullshit.

“I felt that, in that moment, he was being typically Donald, which is performing and shocking. Almost like Andrew Dice Clay, the stand-up comedian: Does he really do the things that he’s saying or is that his act? And in Donald’s case, I equated it that way. When he said what he said, I’d like to think if I had thought for a minute that there was a grown man detailing his sexual assault strategy to me, I’d have called the FBI.”

He kept the bullshit coming by saying that he’d turn down an interview with Trump:

“Conduct a little private interview? No. I’d just say thanks and move on. There is nothing I need from him. I don’t think I’d interview Trump. It would be a spectacle. In television, we love a spectacle, but I’ve come too far and learned too much. There are others that I’d rather interview, like Emmanuel Macron of France.”

And as for if he voted for Trump…

“You’re asking a journalist the way he voted? I’ve never made politics and prior votes public knowledge. I’m a registered independent, I’ll tell you that.”

It’s nice to see that even after walking hot coals with Tony Robbins and spending time in that luxurious healing retreat, Billy Bush hasn’t lost his sense of delusion. Oh, Billy, you silly trick, they weren’t asking a “journalist” who he voted for. They were asking Billy Bush!

Pic: Frank W. Ockenfels III/The Hollywood Reporter

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