Here’s your dad revealing his deepest secret to the world. He was a backup dancer for a Michael Jackson tribute band called Bubbles the Chimp for a brief period in the 1980s. Mashable was kind enough to bring us this guy breaking it down for all of us while dancing to the MJ songs on the PA before a Janet Jackson show in Brooklyn on Wednesday night. Apparently, the routine’s from the “Remember The Time” video?
No one in that auditorium had better thrown any shade this dude’s way. People were probably tee-heeing thinking they were better than this guy cuz’ THEY weren’t making fools of themselves by emulating the King of Pop. Well, those h8ers were wrong! This guy has ALL the balls! This sort of gutsy performance is only made possible by intense courage, natural rhythm, and as few fucks as humanly possible.
Here’s a little nugget to file under the category of: Things Nobody Asked For. CBS is planning to air an hour long animated Halloween special called Michael Jackson’s Halloween. Unlike the nipped in the bud Joseph Fiennes horror show, this one is being produced and created by Michael’s official estate. Paris Jackson must be running low on petty cash to pay for her extensive drug rug and tie-die hobo wardrobe.
Paris Jackson is far, far, far from being the little girl whose dad, Michael Jackson, tried to protect by covering her face with a mask whenever she went out in public. Paris Jackson is now an Alice Cooper-loving 18-year-old with more than 50 tattoos who is working on a modeling career. I had to type the words, “with more than 50 tattoos,” with my nose, because as soon as I was reminded that Paris Jackson is 18, my hands wrinkled, my nails shrank and I’ve got the arthritis in a bad way now. It’s a good thing that a day nurse also showed up when I was reminded that Paris is 18, because I’m going to need someone to open my caramel squares for me.
When it was first announced early last year that Joseph Fiennes was going to play Michael Jackson in some British TV thing about the rumored magical road trip that MJ, Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando went on after the 9/11 attacks, there was outrage over a white actor doing blackface, err whiterface, to play MJ. But Sky Arts went through with the fuckery anyway and the result gave us the retina-burning sight of Joseph Fiennes looking like a melting white chocolate Kinder egg in a $1.99 wig.
A quick minute after Sky Arts released the trailer for Urban Myths, Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson said on Twitter that it grossed her out and left her highly offended. The outrage from Michael Jackson’s family was enough for Sky Arts to torch that episode of Urban Myths along with that prosthetic mask Joseph Fiennes wore.
On Tuesday night, UK’s Sky Arts wet farted up the trailer for Urban Myths and I’m sure that night, many had trouble sleeping, because every time they closed their eyes, they saw the terrifying image of Joseph Fiennes looking like a melting Matt Lauer Claymation figure in lazy Jack White cosplay. Michael Jackson’s 18-year-old daughter, Paris Jackson, pretty much feels the same way and spit out her feelings on Twitter.
Wade Robson Claims That Michael Jackson And His Minions Ran The Most Sophisticated Child Sexual Abuse Operation In The World
Choreographer and So You Think You Can Dance guest judge Wade Robson threw a lawsuit at MJJ Productions in 2013, claiming that Michael Jackson sexually abused him from the age of 7 to the age of 14. One judge threw out the case in 2015, because according to them, 33-year-old Wade Robson waited way too long to file it. (Yes, we are living in a world where claims of sexual abuse have an expiration date on them.) But the case is back on. The brain-melting disturbing details of the lawsuit were sealed up back then, but recently his new lawyer Vince Finaldi added a new complaint and The Hollywood Reporter published it. The new complaint claims that two of Michael Jackson’s companies acted as fronts for finding new victims.