Category: Elon Musk

The Definition Of Random’s Got A New Favorite Couple And It’s Elon Musk And Grimes 

May 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Many minds blew into the universe today and they didn’t need to hitch a ride on a SpaceX rocket to do so. Minds were blown into the universe after reading that 30-year-old Canadian cyborg goth musician Grimes (born name: Claire Elise Boucher) is humping on 46-year-old billionaire super nerd Elon Musk (born name: Elon Musk). And MuskGrime went public with their nerd love at tonight’s Met Gala.

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Elon Musk’s Super Creepy Dad Had A Baby With His Stepdaughter

March 26, 2018 / Posted by:

If Elon Musk sometimes comes off as a little creepy and intense, he’s actually as easy-breezy as Tom Hanks compared to his pops Errol Musk who Page Six reports had a baby with his stepdaughter, Jana Bezuidenhout. Errol married Jana’s mom when Jana was 4 years old and they now have a 10 month old baby named Elliott. Errol is 72, Jana is 30. As Errol was awarded his bronze medal in the Creep Olympics (Fucked Up Family Tree division) he called baby Elliot an “exquisite child” and said it was “God’s Plan”. Neither God or Drake approve of this message.

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Amber Heard And Elon Musk Relationship Update: They Were Seen Holding Hands

January 24, 2018 / Posted by:

Amber Heard and her bathroom spray-named boyfriend Elon Musk haven’t said they’re back together, but they’ve been throwing out plenty of signals that confirm they are. They got papped hugging after a brunch date and were photographed together while on vacation together in Chile. Guess who was once again caught by a camera looking like a couple after a meal.

Page Six says Amber and Elon were papped holding hands while leaving a sushi date on Monday in Los Angeles. A source previously said that they didn’t get back together. But a source tells Page Six that “they are together at the moment.” I like that “at the moment” part at the end of that short little statement. It tells me that source doesn’t want to gossip too much, but they still have a shady side and doubt that this is going to last more than two months.

But what’s with all these regular money dates? Breakfast? Sushi? It was my understanding Elon was a bazillionaire. Maybe it’s because I’ve never dated someone who was rich enough to buy their own planet, but you’d think a date with Elon with be a little splashier. Or maybe he’s just trying to give Amber the average ol’ boyfriend experience. Even if he’s so rich and out of touch with reality that he probably blows it in the first 10 minutes. “I’ll have the freshwater diamond gill angelfish cheek…I mean, tuna. Just regular tuna.



Amber Heard And Elon Musk Took Their “Non-Relationship” To Chile

January 2, 2018 / Posted by:

I’m writing from the South this week where it’s a balmy 26 degrees compared to 6 degrees back home, so I’m kind of hissing the Amber Heard and Elon Musk decided to top me and ship their “we’re not dating” selves further south to Chile to both flaunt what life is like without parkas and show they can simultaneously not date and earn frequent flyer miles. Continue reading


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