Category: Elon Musk
Elon Musk Is Now The Guinness World Record Holder Of The Biggest Financial Loss By One Person
If the word “regret” were a person, it would be Scream mask faced Elon Musk. His financial woes began as soon as he decided he wanted to assassinate Twitter, and it is a move that has literally been costing him billions of dollars. And now, one of the worst decisions in history since the movie version of Cats has gotten Elon the prestigious distinction of entering the Guinness Book of World Records with the “largest loss of personal fortune,” and I can guarantee you this isn’t something he’ll be quick to tweet about.
Elon Musk Polled Users On If He Should Step Down As The Head Of Twitter With Unsurprising Results
Could it be that our internet-age Icarus has, at long last, flew too close to the sun? In this case, the sun being Dave Chappelle’s white-hot dragon breath? Because not only did Elon Musk get his ass torched by ten minutes of sustained booing, it looks like he’s had his eyelashes singed off too so now he looks even more like Dr. Evil dressed up as Pennywise the Clown for a costume party at Twitter HQ but is now standing outside in the rain arguing with the bouncer that he doesn’t need an invitation (it’s his party, dammit), before being led away by security, his comically large rubber shoes squeaking the entire time, much to the delight of the crowd of revelers who just unanimously voted that he should be 86’ed from Club Twitterverse for good.
Twitter Has Suspended The Accounts Of Several Journalists Who Wrote About Elon Musk
Elon Musk said he would protect everyone’s right to freedom of speech once he grabbed Twitter by the neck and made it his bitch, but we knew that was a lie. And in keeping true to his commitment to making sure Twitter burns to the ground, he has now targeted many high-profile journalists from various media outlets like CNN and the New York Times. Of course, Elon understands their frustrations and has found a way to address their concerns. HA! No, he didn’t. Instead, he did what most corroded jerks do when they can’t handle the truth by suspending their accounts without any explanation.
Elon Musk Has Been Downgraded To Forbes’ SECOND Richest Person In The World
Poor Elon Musk. No, literally, POOR Elon Musk because he can no longer claim the title of Forbes’ richest person in the world since he has been dethroned! I would say this is just a bit of karma for his continuous efforts to murder Twitter before the end of the year. But let’s not begin checking our pockets for loose change to throw at his elongated face just yet. Because although he may not be number one anymore, he’s still every kind of rich by securing the number two spot with a paltry $181.3 billion.
Elon Musk Made An Appearance At A Dave Chappelle Show In San Francisco And Got Booed For Ten Minutes Straight
We know from the progeny he made with Grimes that Elon Musk is super into aliens which might help to explain why he’s spent the past year or so attempting to alienate everybody in his orbit, starting with his own family and then moving on to alienate his investors, then his own employees and customers, and last night, Elon successfully alienated an entire stadium full of Dave Chapelle fans when he joined Dave on stage to deliver the most cacophonous tight-ten I have ever witnessed. According to Forbes, Elon joined Dave on stage during a set at the Chase Center in San Francisco and was greeted with nearly ten minutes of continuous, heartfelt booing from the audience. It would seem, much to his shock and horror, that Elon learned the hard way that, while you can buy friends, you can’t buy your friend’s fans and also that alienating someone doesn’t mean they turn into the cool little outer-space dude he’s been doodling in his notebook since he was eight; it means they hate your ass. Now worse than ever.
The City Of San Francisco Is Investigating The Bedrooms In Twitter’s Offices
Now that TIME Magazine has done the right thing by NOT naming ghost-faced douchebag Elon Musk as their Person of the Year, the city of San Francisco is knocking on his door to check out a few bedrooms he had installed at Twitter‘s headquarters. On paper, it seems like a good thing; a place where tired employees can rest while their misguided master puts the whip down for a few seconds. But considering this is Elon we’re talking about, those rooms probably have timers that allow five-minute naps during a twenty-hour workday. And the Department of Building Inspection needs to investigate whether or not these rooms are up to code.