Antonella Slutbag Finally Got The Boot!

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Flashing your nastiness all over the internet can only get you so far and it didn’t get Antonella Barba to “American Idol’s” Top 12. I’m actually sort of shocked. I thought that horny boys and soon-to-be sluts would support this piece of trash. Antonella makes Paula Abdul sound like Pavarotti. Antonella won’t be lonely long I’m sure. Expect her to be the star of several Skinemax movies very soon.

The SHOCK of the evening was that Harley Scarface was not given the boot! WTF?! I hate that ho. She should be serving me an awesome blossom at Chili’s NOT entertaining my ass on TV. I mean…what what?!

Sanjaya remained, but I’m not surprised by that. We need at least one queen to make fun of.

Avril?

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

While I was shaving my head out of frustration, Lindsay Lohan went blonde and put in some lowlights or something. I’m guessing the new hair hides the vomit chunks better. I’m joking…she’s “sober” now!

She was spotted getting on a plane to somewhere yesterday.

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Just For The Dick?

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

What is Whitney Houston still doing chasing chicken? I mean I know she had a fling with Ray-J, but I thought she moved on. The other night they put on some kind of kissy-call-me act in front of the photographers outside of a restaurant in Los Angeles.

Whitney’s like 90 and Ray-J’s like 12. I really hope Ray-J is giving it to her good, because she looks foolish. Do you think he’ll do her like Bobby B and help her clear that doody bubble? That’s love…that’s black love! Her words not mine so save the e-mails!

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Johnny’s Daughter Released From Hospital

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Johnny Depp’s daughter, Lily-Rose, entered a London hospital 9 days ago for a mysterious illness. Johnny and his partner, Vanessa Paradis have been by her side ever since. Johnny is in town to film “Sweeney Todd” where he plays the title character. Some reports are saying that Lily has a blood disease from a rusty nail she stepped on. Nothing has been confirmed.

She has finally been released from the hospital and is said to be doing better. Johnny’s rep said, “We are happy to report their daughter is doing much better. The family greatly appreciates the continued support.”

Rusty nail? Do they live in the olden times? Does she have the consumption too? Glad Lily’s doing better and hopefully when she’s feeling up to it, she can tell her damn mother to get her teefs fixed!

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Please Let Him Be At Promises!

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Eddie Van Halen has entered an undisclosed rehab clinic for undisclosed reasons. He issued this statement yesterday to TMZ:

I would like Van Halen fans to know how much I truly appreciate each and every one of you. Without you there is no Van Halen.

I have always and will always feel a responsibility to give you my best. At the moment I do not feel that I can give you my best. That’s why I have decided to enter a rehabilitation facility to work on myself, so that in the future I can deliver the 110% that I feel I owe you and want to give you.

Some of the issues surrounding the 2007 Van Halen tour are within my ability to change and some are not. As far as my rehab is concerned, it is within my ability to change and change for the better. I want you to know that is exactly what I’m doing, so that I may continue to give you the very best I am capable of.

I look forward to seeing you in the future better than ever and I thank you with all my heart.

Love,
Ed

Eddie’s rehab stint will most likely kill the planned Van Halen reunion tour which was already having problems. Eddie was due to join his former bandmates in New York on Monday for induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

I really hope Eddie’s at Promises, because Brit Brit needs a little Gollum dick. He totally looks like Gollum. Imagine him pounding over you…ok don’t…that’s enough to put you in Promises.

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Even Better Than The Real Thing

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Wax statues are just weird, but in this case I prefer the statue. At a Daily Mail party in London they had some wax Jessica Simpson figure brought in. Weird, yes? Some dude named Ainsley Harriot seemed pretty stoked to be posing next to it and by stoked I mean he was probably bumping her in the wax hole.

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