Open Post: Hosted By A Ukrainian Soldier’s Cat Checkpoint
Ukraine is still defending itself from Russia, yet despite the turmoil and uncertainty, the people continue to live their lives and enjoy the small things however they can. Case in point: a Ukrainian soldier has gone viral for his services to his cats and country. While presumably on duty, he realized that there was something missing at his post. And that something was a checkpoint for cats. The man took it upon himself to do some quick measurements and build a bona fide kitty checkpoint.
Sean Penn Brought One Of His Oscars To President Zelenskyy To Hold Until The War In Ukraine Is Over
Back in February, as most of the world stood by in neutered horror as Russian troops invaded Ukraine, Sean Penn sprang into action like a bronzed penis that had just received an injection of Viagra directly into its veiny shaft. Not wasting a single, precious thrust of momentum, Sean shouted to his documentary crew, “hop on, boys! We’re going to save democracy!” Now, according to USA Today, Sean has returned to Ukraine, and not unlike Slim Pickens gallantly falling to earth with 10,000 tons of atomic lightning between his thighs, descended on Kyiv astride his golden shaft to meet with President Zelenskyy and gift him with a symbol of his throbbing, pulsating rod of American vigor— One of his Academy Awards. Only catch, Zelenskyy has to return it to him in Malibu, personally, as soon as the war is won.
President Volodymyr Zelenskyy Made An Appearance At Last Night’s Grammys
Before Amy Schumer co-hosted the Oscars last week, along with Wanda Sykes and Regina Hall, she said that she tried to get Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to make a cameo appearance on the show. It didn’t happen and thank God because he would have been upstaged by a Telenovella-quality slap. Instead, President Zelenskyy appeared via a pre-recorded message at last night’s 64th annual Grammy Awards to remind us about Putin’s devastating attack on his country.
Sean Penn Threatened To Melt Down His Oscars If President Zelenskyy Doesn’t Make An Appearance At Tonight’s Ceremony
The Oscars are tonight and with ratings getting worse and worse, they’re trying to get more people to watch. It was recently announced that the show would have three hosts: Amy Schumer, Wanda Sykes, and Regina Hall. And one of those hosts (Amy, of course) decided to open her gob to tell the world that she wanted President Zelenskky to appear on the program. You know, Zelenskyy, the same world leader who is in the middle of defending his country! Some rolled their eyes at the suggestion, but there was one person who apparently thought this was a shockingly brilliant idea: Sean Penn! And now he’s threatening to harm his very own Oscars if Zelenskyy isn’t on the show!
Amy Schumer Pitched The Idea Of President Zelenskyy Making A Cameo Appearance At The Oscars
The Oscars finally chose its hosts for the 94th Academy Awards, choosing hilarious queens Regina Hall and Wanda Sykes, and also Amy Schumer. But the Oscar people really got what they paid for, as Amy is already bringing the fuckery. Amy recently revealed that during an Oscars pitch meeting, Amy suggested President Volodymyr Zelenskyy appear via satellite or in a pre-taped video segment. Bitch… when I say: “He ain’t got time for that,” I mean: “HE REALLLLLLLLLY AIN’T GOT TIME FOR THAT!”
Prince William Suggested That War In Europe Is An “Alien” Concept
Anyone with even the slightest knowledge of European history no doubt just choked on a mouthful of water after reading Prince William’s attempts to explain the current situation in Ukraine. I mean – come on now. So needless to say, Prince William is getting dragged pretty aggressively today after he expressed his shock that war is happening in Europe.