Category: Tom Cruise
The First Full Trailer For “Top Gun: Maverick” Is Here
Tom Cruise proves just how flexible he is in the latest trailer for Top Gun 2: The Ego Has Landed with an impressive display of autofellacio. As with the teaser trailer we got back in July, this new trailer is all about how rad Tom Cruise is. He’s not just a maverick flying by the seat of his stunt butt, he’s THE Maverick. Top Gun 2: Cockpit Tease features Tom engaging in various acts of speed while a voice-over blows smoke up his ass. Guys, his exploits…………(wait for it)………..(wait for it)………(I hope you went to the bathroom first because)…… (wait for it)……….(almost there)……. (here it comes)……….(almost there)……are legendary.
John Travolta Learned That His Wife Kelly Preston Had A Sex Scene With Tom Cruise The Hard Way
According to Us Weekly, John Travolta didn’t know that Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston, who played Jerry’s fiance in Jerry Maguire, had a sex scene together until he watched the movie at a screening. You know that saying “the jokes write themselves”? Well, I’m here to tell you that is a lie. They absolutely do not write themselves! You may read a headline like Us Weekly’s “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” and chuckle to yourself, but that’s not a joke! That’s just the set up for a joke. The joke itself requires quiet contemplation, a mining of one’s acquired knowledge of the subjects at hand, and the ability to synthesize that information in a novel and amusing way. So if a headline like “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” is the set up, the punchline might be something like “it was awkward because that’s how John found out he didn’t get the part of the fiance!” Another way to do it would be to simply just repeat the headline “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” a minimum of three times. You see, a three-way works every time!
The Creator Of “Jack Reacher” Says Tom Cruise Is Too Old For Action Movies
It’s no secret that Tom Cruise isn’t exactly the tallest guy around. Even if he wanted to keep his official height a secret, the soles of his shoes are pretty much hollering, “The real mission impossible is this guy trying to hit 5’10, am I right?!” But height doesn’t really matter on screen, which is why Tom Cruise has played the character of Jack Reacher in two films. Even though the creator of Jack Reacher, Lee Child, has said that he thought Tom was too tiny. Not only is Tom too small, but now Lee is saying that he thinks Tom is too old, and not just for Jack, but for anything that involves running, jumping, or weapon-based espionage.
James McAvoy Says He’s Been Told He’s “Too Short” For Roles
Short King, James McAvoy is letting the dark side of Hollywood out of the bag. You thought women had it bad in Hollywood? Buckle up because it’s time for the real bias and disregard of the media elite to be revealed: sometimes men don’t get roles because they’re… too short. Can you believe it? Tom Cruise is quaking in his lifts
Open Post: Hosted By The “Tom Cruise 2020” Campaign
It’s hard to think of a person I’d hate to see chilling in the Oval Office come 2020 more than Donald Trump. Now I can thank/curse the parody website Tom Cruise 2020 for expanding my imagination. Even if I knew what his politics were beyond his promise of “a lift in every shoe”, I really don’t want to live in a country where the Scientologist in Chief nominates Kirstie Alley for the Supreme Court, John Travolta becomes the Secretary of Education and Jenna Elfman is put in charge of literally anything at all. That said, the campaign video for Cruise 2020 does make a compelling argument about Tom’s level of fitness. Not for office, just that he’s really good at running.
A Former Scientologist Says That Tom Cruise Isn’t Allowed To See Suri Cruise
That headline probably prompted at least one person to wonder when Captain Obvious got into Scientology. But the former Scientologist in question is once again Sam Domingo, former wife of Placido Domingo Jr. The last time Sam opened up about Scientology, she claimed that Tom Cruise and his children Isabella and Connor Cruise were forced to disconnect from their mother, Nicole Kidman, after she split from Tom and Scientology. Sam is back, this time talking to UsWeekly. And according to Sam, there’s a reason why you don’t see current pictures of Tom and his 13-year-old daughter Suri Cruise, and it’s because Suri allegedly got the Nicole treatment.