John Travolta Learned That His Wife Kelly Preston Had A Sex Scene With Tom Cruise The Hard Way

December 6, 2019 / Posted by:

According to Us Weekly, John Travolta didn’t know that Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston, who played Jerry’s fiance in Jerry Maguire, had a sex scene together until he watched the movie at a screening. You know that saying “the jokes write themselves”? Well, I’m here to tell you that is a lie. They absolutely do not write themselves! You may read a headline like Us Weekly’s “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” and chuckle to yourself, but that’s not a joke! That’s just the set up for a joke. The joke itself requires quiet contemplation, a mining of one’s acquired knowledge of the subjects at hand, and the ability to synthesize that information in a novel and amusing way. So if a headline like “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” is the set up, the punchline might be something like “it was awkward because that’s how John found out he didn’t get the part of the fiance!” Another way to do it would be to simply just repeat the headline “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” a minimum of three times. You see, a three-way works every time!

Us Weekly reports:

Show me the awkward? John Travolta admitted he had no idea that his wife, Kelly Preston, was in a sex scene with Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire.

“You don’t even know what awkward is until you sit in the screening of Jerry Maguire and you don’t know that scene is coming up and your wife is with Tom Cruise in the middle of something — that was astonishing,” Travolta, 65, said on The Late Late Show With James CordenOpens in a new Window. on Thursday, December 5. “That’s awkward. I had no idea.”

I didn’t remember that Kelly was in Jerry Maguire until about 3 hours ago (that’s how long it took me to write those “jokes”), so that sex scene must have been so hot and horny, that my brain completely wiped it from my memory so as not to ruin sex for me in the future. Thank you, brain, for keeping my sexpectations appropriately low.

James Corden then pointed out that during the famous sex scene from the 1996 film, Preston, 57, screams, “Never ever stop fucking me,” to which Travolta said, “That was rough.”

Again, jokes do NOT write themselves. John describing hot Scientology sex between his wife and Tom Cruise as “rough” is not a joke. But pointedly adding that John later described his and Kelly’s special together time by saying “we do little skits and we put on plays,” before dropping in the aforementioned sex scene might count as one. Especially if John at any point was known to wear a wet-look wig.

Ok, so that didn’t really work as a joke, but I hope I’ve made my point. That is that the headline “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” alone is amusing, but not a joke. It needs something more. And repeating it 4 times is trying too hard.

Pic: Wenn.com

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >