Category: Kelly Preston

John Travolta Learned That His Wife Kelly Preston Had A Sex Scene With Tom Cruise The Hard Way

December 6, 2019 / Posted by:

According to Us Weekly, John Travolta didn’t know that Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston, who played Jerry’s fiance in Jerry Maguire, had a sex scene together until he watched the movie at a screening. You know that saying “the jokes write themselves”? Well, I’m here to tell you that is a lie. They absolutely do not write themselves! You may read a headline like Us Weekly’s “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” and chuckle to yourself, but that’s not a joke! That’s just the set up for a joke. The joke itself requires quiet contemplation, a mining of one’s acquired knowledge of the subjects at hand, and the ability to synthesize that information in a novel and amusing way. So if a headline like “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” is the set up, the punchline might be something like “it was awkward because that’s how John found out he didn’t get the part of the fiance!” Another way to do it would be to simply just repeat the headline “John Travolta Didn’t Know What ‘Awkward Was’ Until Watching His Wife Kelly Preston in a Sex Scene With Tom Cruise” a minimum of three times. You see, a three-way works every time!

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Donald Trump And Helen Mirren Were Both Nominated For Razzie Awards, What?

January 21, 2019 / Posted by:

Well, well, well – here’s one big award Lady Gaga won’t be taking home this year (besides the Oscar). The Razzie nominations are here, and there’s nary a nod to A Star Is Born, Green Book, or Bohemian Rhapsody, all movies more worthy of scorn (according TO ME) than any of the 5 that a got a Worst Movie nomination. And the acting category is a real mind-bender with Donald and Melania Trump each being nominated for playing themselves in Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 11/9. Trump was even nominated a second time in Dinesh D’Souza’s Death of A Nation, also for playing himself. I mean, sure. But what are we really doing here?

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Color Us SHOCKED: “Gotti” Was A Big Flop

June 19, 2018 / Posted by:

If you ever watched all three seasons of Growing Up Gotti on A&E, you’ll remember Victoria Gotti pretending to be some kind of Miranda Priestly of Star Magazine while her three sons tried to be singers or princes of Long Island or whatever. It was canceled after the third season, but after last weekend’s box office results, it’s clear people would way rather see Victoria’s staged reality show than watch Kelly Preston and John Travolta sully the good Gotti name with their hairpieces, faux gaudy jewelry, and sneers! And it flopped without any help from Lindsay LohanContinue reading

Kelly Preston Wears The Scientology Pants In Her Marriage To John Travolta

May 25, 2018 / Posted by:

I, and presumably most people with a set of eyes, have always figured Kelly Preston has been recovering from acting ever since was robbed of an Oscar for her portrayal of a Nevada flight attendant opposite pre-GOOP Gwyneth Paltrow in View From The Top. Instead, she’s mainly just content being a mom and sitting on her throne at the Scientology bathhouse while husband John Travolta belts out show tunes and gets massages (many, many massages). Seems like the textbook definition of a happy, denial-filled marriage to me! But a new report now claims Kelly is Xenu Don Corleone in the Travolta household, and John’s too afraid to cross her, so that’s why he’s still in the church! Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By Kelly Preston’s Stunningly Gorgeous “Ode To Peg Bundy” Hair

September 19, 2016 / Posted by:

Kelly Preston must have gotten sick of John Travolta getting all of the attention for the rayon Shih Tzu that has taken up permanent residency on his head, because last night, she caused hos to choke on massive clouds of beauty and pink bottle AquaNet hairspray when she hit the red carpet at the Emmys. All of Kelly Preston’s Thetans traveled up north and moved into the luxurious Bump It-created hair pavilion on top of her head.

Lainey at Lainey Gossip posted these pictures and she immediately saw Marie and Donny Osmond. I see it, but Kelly Preston wishes she had the wax figure complexion and exquisite marble doll eyes of Marie Osmond and John Travolta is way too butch to pass for Donny Osmond. But seriously, when I look at Kelly Preston I see the last runner-up in the Mrs. Kansas 1980 pageant and I also see a failed country singer from the 1960s whose most proud moment was the time a drunk dude mistook her for Loretta Lynn and asked for her an autograph.

Since Kelly also looks like a chorus member in a community theater production of Hairspray, I’m guessing that hair was John Travolta’s idea. It’s about time that John shows his beard some appreciation and uses his hairstyling talents to glamour her up. But I have a feeling that this is a Cinderella situation and Kelly will go back to having a homely dishrag on her head, because John won’t be able to stand not being the most glamorous one. But well at least for one night, Kelly could see her glammed-up self in the mirror and say, “I’m a pretty girl, mama.”


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