Category: Tales From The One Percent
Diane Kruger Says That Norman Reedus Is Such An Impulse Buyer That He Once Bought A House In California Without Getting The Okay From Her First
FINALLY, some extremely relatable content! I mean, who hasn’t just casually dropped millions of dollars on a house after casually seeing it during a casual open house on a casual Sunday? We all have! “Oh shit, you just reminded me that I casually bought an $8 million house before brunch a couple of weeks ago” is probably what you just said to yourself. And well, Norman Reedus, Diane Kruger’s fiance and the father of her 3-year-old daughter, is just like all of us! While on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Diane talked about how Norman decided to buy a house and relocate their family from New York to California without so much as getting a thumbs-up emoji from her. Pacey would never!
Jennifer Lopez And Ben Affleck Are Buying A $50 Million Bel Air Estate
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck haven’t even been back together for a year, but they’re buying a house together. They’ve been rumored to be in the housing market for quite some time. A lot of their early promo-stunts were them looking at houses and Jennifer moved to LA to be closer to Ben. Well, it seems they finally found the mega-mansion of their dreams where they can live with their blended family. After previously looking at an $85 million estate, the couple has reportedly settled on a measly $50 million Bel Air estate instead. Wow, that’s like half the price! Look at these peasants, amirite?!
Twitter Founder Jack Dorsey Only Eats One Meal Per Weekday, And Zero Meals On The Weekend
Jack Dorsey, the founder of Twitter and Square Cash, paid himself a salary of $1.40 last year. Those who don’t know Jack’s net worth might think that’s the reason why he barely eats, because all he can afford to eat is survival soup (made from snatched Taco Bell hot sauce packets and tap water taken from a public bathroom faucet). But Jack paid himself $1.40 since he doesn’t need the money and the $1.40 is in honor of Twitter’s old 140 characters. Jack only eats one meal per weekday because it makes his tech genius mind run better. So not only does he do himself up to look like a starving beach hobo, he eats like one too. I’m pretty sure that when you first look at your financials and notice you’re officially a billionaire, a setting in your brain clicks to: Time To Be As Weird As Fucking Possible.
Drake Continues To Make Sound Financial Decisions By Spending A Million Dollars On An Outfit
Let me (quickly) introduce myself. I am Deirdre from Boston, and yes Ben Affleck and I are responsible for bringing Dunkin’ Donuts to the West Coast! I am an avid pop culture junkie and am beyond humbled to be writing for Dlisted. I hope to be a worthy garbage and bone collector who can sometimes put my thoughts into grammatically correct sentences. I’m not making too many promises though as English is my first and only language and I only went to college for 5 years and a summer. Ok. Two summers. But I did graduate with(out) honors and now I am writing for Dlisted, so to quote Scheana from Vanderpump Rules‘ tattoo, one of the greatest pieces of poetry and art to come out of our generation, “It’s all happening!”
Now onto important breaking news like Drake’s ability to put together an outfit for the bargain price of just under a million dollars.
Lynette Scavo And Aunt Becky Got Busted In A College Admissions Scheme
March, 12, 2019: The day that the definition of random was redefined with a story about a college admissions ESCANDALO involving Lynette Scavo (real name: Felicity Huffman) and Aunt Becky (real name: Lori Loughlin). This Desperate Housewives/Full House crossover where Lynette Scavo and Aunt Becky share a jail cell after getting taken away from their homes in handcuffs for allegedly paying bribes to get their children into college IS the weirdest reboot ever.
NBC News says that Felicity and Lori are among 40 who were indicted in a college entrance exam cheating scheme. They were both charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services fraud. Cut to Aunt Becky’s TV husband Uncle Jesse letting out a “HAVE MERCY!” over having to bail her alleged cheating ass out.
Petty, Thy Name Is Billionaire Harry Macklowe
When us regular bitches want to get revenge on an ex, we have to do time-consuming shit like wait until they’ve watched the second to the last episode of House of Cards before canceling the Netflix account of ours they still use. Or replace their fapping lotion of choice with extra-strengh Nair. But when a moneybags bitch wants to get revenge on an ex, he just has to command one of his assistants to get a humongous picture of him and new piece plastered onto the almost-home of his ex . That’s exactly what billionaire developer Harry Macklowe did. Harry splattered a picture of him with his fiancee on a Park Avenue building that his ex was trying to live in. Sure, that’s level 8 petty, but Harry could’ve gone to level 10 petty by splattering a picture of him and his fiancee onto a building across from where his ex lives. Although, that would’ve done wonders for his ex’s bowels since she would’ve been inspired to drop a turd every time she stared at his giant face.