Semen and pussy juice are the only bodily fluids left standing that haven’t been explicitly discussed in open court in the never-ending legal drama between Johnny Depp (seen above, I think, in a courtroom sketch), Amber Heard and The Sun. But they are implied. In day two of the libel trial of Johnny vs The Sun, the moon, and everything in between, photographic evidence was given alleging that Johnny’s breakfast of choice includes a pint glass full of whiskey, four lines of cocaine snorted with a tampon applicator and a Keith Richards CD, which is why Keith is trending today on Twitter. It was also alleged that Johnny once scrawled “I love you” in blood from his severed finger on a mirror and that he once hit Amber for making fun of his Wino Forever tattoo. And, according to Page Six, Johnny admitted to calling Amber “a go-getter slut and a whore,” because he was convinced she was having an affair with James Franco, who Johnny says Amber once called “creepy and rapey.” However, he has so far adamantly denied he committed any of the 14 instances of physical assault presented by the defense (via Page Six). Hey, at least there was no talk of human feces on the docket this time!
I have to keep reminding myself that Johnny is the plaintiff in this case and we’re all being subjected to the sad details of his and Amber’s lives because of a single headline The Sun ran that called him a “wife beater.” It’s wild because Johnny has been admitting to nearly all of Amber’s claims of drunken, drug-fueled debauchery, short of laying a hand on her in anger. According to Page Six:
Images unveiled in Johnny Depp’s libel case in London on Wednesday show a table laid out with his morning meal of booze and drugs during one rage-fueled bender.
The snap — taken in 2013 by Depp’s ex-wife Amber Heard inside her LA apartment — showed two glasses of whiskey and a crossbones-decorated pill box marked “property of JD,” which Depp conceded “probably” contained cocaine, according to reports.
Questioned about the photo, Depp admitted his breakfast of champions that day included booze and blow after a spat with Heard.
“It had been quite a nasty argument,” Depp said, according to The Sun. “I was definitely partaking of the cocaine and whiskey that morning.”
Here’s the photo in question.
Amber Heard shows photos of Johnny Depp’s lunch- whisky and four lines of coke, then passed out on floor. pic.twitter.com/LBNPNY1Kq6
— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) July 8, 2020
Oh, c’mon, Johnny. Keith can’t be around that stuff anymore! Johnny claims that Amber “never supported me in my attempt to be strong and avoid alcohol and drugs,” and claims “there were many times in our relationship when not only did she chop the cocaine with a razor blade into lines she also put it on to her finger and rubbed it into her gums,” which is actually better form than snorting it with a tampon applicator. People reports that the incident where Johnny allegedly hit Amber for making fun of his tattoo, came at a time when Johnny had allegedly fallen off the wagon.
Wass [Sasha, attorney for The Sun] said that Depp had “fallen off the wagon” in 2013 and was “acting like a wino and an alcoholic” as he was allegedly taking drugs and drinking again.
“Ms. Heard laughed at that tattoo,” Wass said, alleging, “You then slapped Ms. Heard across the face and that was the first time it happened.”
“You slapped her more than once, because after you slapped her the first time, she didn’t react, she just eyeballed you, she just stared at you, and that made you more angry, and you slapped her again,” Wass claimed.
OK, Perry Mason! Johnny responded that “the allegations were ‘patently untrue’ and ‘not correct,’” but also that he couldn’t “recall any argument about any tattoos.” Johnny also dragged Paul Bettany into this mess when a text message between them was presented as evidence. via Page Six:
Confronted with a text message he sent to fellow actor Paul Bettany —saying he’d gone on a binge that resulted in a “blackout, screaming obscenities and insulting any (person) who got near” — said: “I may have done things that I have no memory of.”
And finally, because I teased bodily fluids in the opening, we must now get to the gore. Page Six reports that during what she called a “three-day ordeal of physical assault,” while Johnny was “completely off [his] head on drink and drugs,” he severed his finger smashing beer bottles while allegedly accusing Amber of having an affair with Billy Bob Thornton. He also allegedly “spat in her face and threatened to ‘fuck her corpse.” He then, admittedly, used his finger stump to scrawl a message in blood. Photographic proof was presented in court that it’s preferable to say “Candyman” in a mirror three times than it is to say “Johnny Depp” even once.
You definitely wouldn’t want Johnny Depp and Amber Heard to house sit for you. pic.twitter.com/XTIkHhkqQa
— Steve Williams (@swillmedia) July 9, 2020
That is one salty eliminated queen! Johnny also “allegedly peed on the floor” and painted a “fake dick’ on the crotch area of a female painting in the house,” all of which Johnny admitted was “possible,” given he had allegedly taken “10 ecstasy tablets in two hours,” chased by “a bottle of vodka and wine.” According to Page Six:
The court was shown photos of how the actor scrawled messages on mirrors in the house they were staying in — with Depp admitting some were in blood from his severed finger, the Mail said.
“Look what you made me do!” he reportedly snapped at Heard as he wrote the final ‘u’ in “I love you,” the court was told.
Graffiti in paint also referred to his jealousy over his wife working on a film with Thornton, writing, “Starring Billy Bob, Easy Amber,” the court heard.
Another message saying “Call Carly Simon, she said it better, babe” — referring to the singer’s hit, “You’re So Vain” — was written by Heard after he had gone to a hospital, Depp said.
Depp told the court he “knew exactly what I was doing” — and conceded he felt “considerable pain,” the Mail said.
The rented house was “left in “carnage” with $75,000 damage, including a smashed TV and windows, Wass told the court.
Johnny admits all this is true saying the graffiti was “a message to her, ‘Good luck and be careful at the top’, in reference to her ambition to be a big star,” but insists that any and all claims of physical abuse against Amber are “pedestrian fiction.” Pedestrian!? This shit ain’t normal, Johnny needs a dictionary!
Finally saw the Johnny Depp courtroom sketch and: wow pic.twitter.com/cYwcJ342P4
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) July 9, 2020