Katy Perry is diversifying. She’s torn a page right out of Soulja Boy’s Big Book Of Big Ideas and is slapping her name on all manner of products. Simultaneously, she’s out here promoting a very Goop on a budget lifestyle. Trust me, if you already think you know too much about Goop’s poops, you are not ready to hear about Perry’s dingleberries.
Katy was probably prompted to open up about her love of enemas as part of her “Ayurvedic eating and cleansing” routine because she and fiancé Orlando Bloom are recent investors in Bragg Live Food Products. That’s the company that ruined my childhood with their nutritional yeast, which by law, is liberally sprinkled on every bowl of popcorn served in the city of Berkeley. Bragg is also known for their apple cider vinegar and that crusty bottle of amino acids that’s been in the back of my aunt’s cabinet for the last 20 years. Katy calls that shit “mindful eating”.
Living like a king is expensive. Private jet fuel, a fleet of luxury cars, fine dining, and child support don’t come for free. So please forgive Scott Disick for simply doing whatever it takes to keep his family fed, clothed, and yachted. If Scott’s latest source of revenue, hawking snake oil that’s supposed to allow you to change your eye color, seems a little dubious, try to see it his way. If not for his lucrative iColour contract, his children might be forced to fly commercial when they’re with him. And no decent parent would wish that on their child.
Lord knows there’s a lot of scammers out there and Oprah Winfrey is the biggest of them all. She got us out here wearing Uggs, watching Dr. Phil and reading The Secret. Oprah’s probably scammed more people into buying stupid crap than Bernie Madoff, Charles Ponzi and all the princes of Nigeria combined. But most of Oprah’s scams are on the up and up. If you really want to waste your money on Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations by Oprah Winfrey, you’ve only got yourself to blame.