Call me old-fashioned, but Valentine’s Day is meant for boozing with friends and bemoaning single-dom. For some tacky ass people who like to flaunt their sinful, romantic lifestyle, however, it’s a great time to get engaged! After three years of on-and-off boning, er, dating, Orlando Bloom was ready to put a ring on it and popped the question to Katy Perry. Will Left Shark be the man of honor?!
People first reported that Orlando and Katy didn’t waste time throwing up their news (vaguely) on Instagram, flaunting an ugly ring that I think looks like a knock-off Sweet Secret ring but is supposed to be a “full bloom” – get it?! Ugh. No word why Katy is wearing her alleged engagement ring on the wrong finger. She’s just quirky like that!
Orlando also posted the same pic with “Lifetimes” as the caption. Katy’s mom had also posted to Instagram one that flatly said they were engaged, but I guess they made her take that one down. What spoilsports! Legolas proved he really is that bitch who gets soft for Valentine’s Day by teasing the big day with groan-inducing romantic quotes:
This was so much more fun when he was just freeballin’ on a paddlboard. Keep your hetero love in check where it belongs! E! News reports the $5 million ring is likely a four-carat pink oval diamond surrounded by eight white diamonds to give off that bloomin’ onion, er, flower vibe. I feel like I’ve been writing about these two for forever. They were spotted flirting at a 2016 Golden Globes after party and became official two months later. They split in March of 2017, but remained friends…who then seemed to be RULL good friends who traveled all over the place. Hell, they even met the Pope together with Katy’s mom. Somewhere in all of that, they announced they were back together. Between this and Katy Perry enlisting Zedd to come out with a single that doesn’t entirely reach the god-awful level of the shit that was on Witness, I’d say home girl is having a pretty fantastic start to 2019! Oh, what’s that? She’s still on American Idol? Never mind!