Here’s A Promo Video For Elon Musk’s “Saturday Night Live” Episode

The only thing worse than a billionaire is a thirsty billionaire, and Elon Musk is the richest, thirstiest one the world has ever known. And you can’t tell him nothing! Least of all “no.” And so, as we know, he’ll be hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend. As such, SNL has released a promo clip for the show which features musical guest Miley Cyrus, who similarly can’t be told nothing. Only thing is, Miley can pull it off. Elon, well Elon is so stiff, his fresh-out-the-box leather jacket still has creases in it.

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“The Queen’s Gambit” Is Netflix’s Most-Watched Limited Series

The Queen’s Gambit, that show about an orphan chess prodigy who loves poppin’ pills and drinkin’ booze in the swinging sixties, is Netflix’s most-watched limited series ever. In its first 28 days, it has been watched in 62 million households. It stars Anna Taylor-Joy, who you also may recognize (sans floofy red wig) from her starring roles in Emma, Split, and The Witch. Peter Friedlander, VP of Netflix Original Series, detailed the show’s success in a blog post.

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Open Post: Hosted By VR Furries Taking Over Four Seasons Total Landscaping

You bet your ass I laughed at the headline despite having zero clue what a “VR furry” was. The Four Seasons Total Landscaping debacle was just that hilarious. Now, in my mind, I imagined real people in furry costumes taking the bus to Philly, putting on their virtual reality goggles, and bumping into each other in the business’ decrepit parking lot. But I was totally wrong. It’s actually a re-imagined virtual world that people can explore in VR via their furry avatars. I think. Apologies if I got it wrong. I’m so tech-illiterate I didn’t even discover AirDrop ’til a few months ago. Game changer! Continue reading

Amber Heard Got A Job In The “Justice League” and “Aquaman” Movies As Mera

Johnny Depp better start looking into some long-term in-home hobo pirate care, because his go-to helper is going to be busy doing her own thing for the next little while. Amber Heard confirmed to ET yesterday that she has been cast as Mera, the wife of Aquaman (played by Jason Momoa) in 2017’s Justice League: Part One and 2018’s Aquaman. Amber wouldn’t say much about her role as Mera, but she did talk a bit about her costume. Just like Aquaman and Wonder Woman, Mera’s costume sounds like a Mugatu-inspired mecha mess.

“It’s interesting. It’s like, half suit of armor, half scales. It’s strange. We’re in the process of building it now, so it’s coming along.”

Excuse me? A fierce undersea queen like Mera deserves slutty aquatic eleganza. Not a suit cobbled together from pieces that fell off the side of a Deadliest Catch boat. I know people don’t like their superhero movies to be campy trash anymore, but at least give her a pair of gold club rat hoops to go with her crown.

Playing a character that spends most of her time in the water is a great opportunity for Amber. And no, I’m not talking about her career. I’m talking about how easy it will be to introduce Johnny Depp to semi-regular bathing. All she has to do is invite him to visit her on set after every underwater scene. When he arrives, a soaking-wet Amber will hold him in a hug just long enough for the water to penetrate his clothes and make contact with his skin. If she does this every day, I’d say she could have him relatively clean in about 3 to 5 months.

Pics: Splash, DC

Ben Affleck Made His First Public Appearance Since His Marriage Ended

Now we know what it looks like when Ben Affleck goes to donate a bunch of old DVDs to his local Savers and sees a sign that says “NO GIGLI.”

Ben Affleck has been laying pretty low since word got out that his marriage to Jennifer Garner had bitten the dust. But since he’s contractually obligated to pimp out that Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice movie, he showed up to San Diego Comic-Con. Yes, Ben Affleck looks like cold shit, but that might not be because he’s sad his marriage hit the skids. The Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice panel was held at 10:30am, and that’s pretty damn early for someone who was probably counting cards and chugging hooch till 4am the night before.

Sad Batman joined Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, the monotone boy robot from The Social Network, and Gal Godot on the BVS:DOJ panel, and their big thing was that they released a new nearly 4-minute long trailer featuring Wonder Woman.

The real star of that trailer is whatever the hell is living on Lex Luthor’s head. That wig is BUSTED and I love it. I kept hoping it was going to come alive with the magic of CGI and start cracking jokes. Is it too late to go back and re-write that into the movie? I don’t think I’m wrong in saying that Lex Luthor could really use a sassy lil’ talking polyester sidekick.

Here’s more of Ben Affleck at Comic-Con this morning with the rest of the BVS:DOJ cast.

Pics: Splash

As The Star Wars Super-Fans Lose Their Damn Minds…

I feel like I’m watching a real-life Star Wars fanfic re-imagining of the “Now I want you two to kiss” scene from Wild Things. Oh, Mark Hamill, you dirty dog.

San Diego Comic-Con, the most wonderful time of the year for nerdy types, is here. And last night, J. J. Abrams played Santa and made millions of geek dreams come true by packing the Star Wars: The Force Awakens panel full of Star Wars people. The cast of the new movie! The cast of the old movie! A post-hospital Harrison Ford (who was apparently a little wobbly)! Carrie Fisher! But obviously the best part was when Princess Leia and Han Solo’s lips reunited with each other on stage. Sure, it wasn’t nearly as nasty as I would have liked (don’t tell me Leia and Han weren’t into some truly kinky shit), but I’ll take what I can get. If the idea of watching two legends who can still get it gently mouth humping on each other is your idea of a good time, it happens around the 5:33 mark below.

Besides Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford kissing on each other, a bunch of other Star Wars shit happened too. J. J. Abrams confirmed that Star Wars 7 was done filming and that they’re just editing it together now. They also brought an alien puppet thing from the new movie on stage.

That’s almost exactly what I imagine Charlie Sheen’s blood looks like under a high-powered microscope. Then after all the talking, they hauled the 6,000-person audience outside for a Star Wars concert. Sadly, it wasn’t performed by that hot bitch Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band. I guess they had a more important gig, like playing for Naboo royalty or something.

Here’s more from the Star Wars: The Force Awakens panel last night, including Mark Hamill working the hell out of a sexy semi-sheer shirt.

Pics: Splash