Just because Melanie Griffith has no qualms serving as witness at a wedding officiated by Kris Jenner, don’t expect her to utilize her services! One- Kris probably charges out the ass and makes you invite Scott Disick. Two- after three husbands and four walks down the aisle, Melanie is done with marriage. She’s looking for something casual…just don’t expect her to go looking for it on Tinder, commoners.
The source of many a nervous twitch in the Trump White House, Kathy Griffin, is – much to the chagrin of the red states – back in the U.S. with a new comedy tour even after she shocked everyone by holding up a decapitated fake Trump head. While she already spooked what members of the Trump administration bothered to show up to this weekend’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner, she managed to pop by daytime TV and tell Wendy Williams that she doesn’t think she’ll ever make amends with former BFF Anderson Cooper. Continue reading
When 29-year-old Colton Haynes got engaged to his 46-year-old flower daddy Jeff Leatham (he’s a floral designer), it was a big, gay extravaganza complete with fireworks, drama and an appearance by Cher. So when I heard they were getting married this weekend, I prepared to explode into a tornado of glitter from the glorious gayness of their wedding. I expected to see Barbra Streisand softly yodel out Evergreen while officiating their ceremony from a giant crystal swan covered with rhinestone-encrusted white orchids imported from Thailand. But I guess all their money was spent on the engagement ceremony, because they had to settle for Pimp Mama Kris as their officiant.
When I saw that Melanie Griffith spoke on a panel with Sharon Stone on Wednesday night, I got excited thinking it was just going to be Sharon reenacting the iconic Basic Instinct snatch scene (which The Sun reached by saying she did) taking turns reenacting the Basic Instinct snatch shot and Melanie talking about Antonio Banderas’ peen. Instead, it was a serious talk where Melanie opened up about battling epilepsy and said all her ills went away as soon as she signed her divorce papers. Continue reading
It’s not exactly a secret that for the past two decades, Melanie Griffith has been working a pretty un-Melanie mug. That pic above is from 1999. Melanie says she realized that something was up with her face after hearing about six million “Uh Melanie? I think your face is melting” jokes.
At Madison Square Garden in NYC today, Kanye West farted up his newest collection of overpriced dumpster finds and he also played songs (one of which has a touching lyric about Taylor Swift) from his new album The Life of Pablo. I’m guessing he means Pablo Escobar since coke was definitely a co-producer on that album. Kanye held his Yeezy season 3 show at MSG, because his organizers probably knew it was the only place that’d be able to hold in his craziness, throbbing ego and all of those foam insulation-filled Kartrashian asses.
I watched mostly all 500 hours of the livestream and for the first time in my life I felt really sorry for models. They all had to stand there looking sad, hungry and constipated while wearing dusty, moth-eaten aerobics clothes that have been in the back of someone’s mother’s closet for the past 30 years. Not only did they have to stand there in condom beanies and Star Trek Lululemon shit, but they also had to listen to Kanye fuck his own ego while playing songs from his new album.