Category: Mariah Carey
Mariah Carey Did Leave Roc Nation, But It Wasn’t Because Of Jay-Z
Yesterday we learned that Mariah Carey had split from her record label, Roc Nation, after an explosive fight with Jay-Z (seen above in happier times, wrapped in the blessing of Mariah’s benevolent effervescence). Well, Mariah Carey quickly denied on Twitter that there was major drama, thus swiftly averting all her fans from recording their own sequels to “Heartbreaker,” called “Nosebreaker (Defending Mimi’s Honor).” Mariah didn’t say whether she was done with Roc Nation or not, but she did clarify that she didn’t have an issue with Jay-Z personally. TMZ is backing up Mariah’s claims that her issue isn’t with Jay-Z. But they add that Mariah did say goodbye to Roc Nation after about four years together.
Mariah Carey Reportedly Quit Roc Nation After A Big Fight With Jay-Z (And She Has Responded To That Rumor)
If you look under the “artists section” of Roc Nation’s website, you’ll find Alicia Keys, Christina Aguilera, Megan Thee Stallion, Van Jones (????), and crooning stream of used douche water Robin Thicke. But your eyeballs will not be hit with a wave of wet unicorn farts (read: rainbow glitter) from reading the name Mariah Carey since Mimi has been scrubbed from the site. And The Sun claims that’s because Roc Nation is now 1000% less glittery since Mariah Carey has reportedly dumped them as her management company after she and their founder, Jay-Z, got into a verbal tussle over her career. Or at least The Sun claims she busted out of there after fighting with Jay-Z about her career, but she could’ve also shit-canned Roc Nation after she strolled into the meeting to find dreadful fluorescent lighting, burnt champagne, and caviar that isn’t Petrossian Beluga. That’s reason enough!
Happy Easter From An Almost-Vaccinated Mimi Bunny!
Mariah Carey may be the Queen of Christmas, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t get festive on other religious holidays (and that’s the reason why you can find Santa Claus trying to jump the Easter Bunny for attempting to steal his girl). Mimi celebrated the anniversary of Jesus’ big “Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me” moment by posting a picture of her in bunny ears along with her two pooches who are thinking, “She’s squishing us but at least she didn’t put us in the dryer!” And Mimi has another reason to celebrate because she recently filled her unicorn butterfly veins with the COVID-19 vaccine.
Mariah Carey’s Brother Is Suing Her Over What She Wrote About Him In Her Memoir
Even if you haven’t read Mariah Carey’s memoir you probably already know that her family is an entire mess with a side of extra mess like when you order a milkshake at a cool diner and they give you the little bit of extra in the metal shaker. Only in Mariah’s case, they don’t even bother with the shaker and just pour that shit right onto the table. In her book The Meaning of Mariah Carey, Mariah wrote about how at age 12, her older sister Alison Carey (who was arrested for prostitution in 2016) drugged her and tried to sell her out to a pimp. She also wrote about a violent incident allegedly involving her “ex-brother” Morgan Carey who TMZ reports is suing Mariah for defamation and “intentional infliction of emotional distress.” Morgan says that Mariah’s book “damaged his reputation” and I guess the only way to repair that is with lots and lots of dollar signs.
Open New Year’s Day Post: Hosted By Cyndi Lauper’s NYE Performance
Because too much Ryan Seacrest gives me a serious case of the farts, I only watched pieces of Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve last night, so I completely missed the performance by Cyndi Lauper. But after she performed, I started to see tweets and headlines about how “bizarre” it was. I shrugged because she IS so unusual and I like my Cyndi Lauper performances “bizarre.” And then I figured out that by “bizarre,” everyone meant bad. Well, looks like Hell’s Special Place is going to be a lot more crowded with those who spent the last minutes of 2020 dragging legendary goddess Cyndi Lauper!
Open Post: Hosted By Mariah Carey’s New Video For “Oh Santa!” (Featuring Jennifer Hudson And Ariana Grande)
When I read that Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande, and Jennifer Hudson did a Christmas song together for Mariah’s AppleTV+ Christmas special, Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special, I thought to myself, “We better prepare.” Because the sound of those three women hitting their high-notes, runs and shouts at the same time? It would shake the planet loose from our orbit around the sun! Luckily such a catastrophe was avoided because they chose to keep the whistle notes and “Hey-eeyay-eeyay-yay-yay-eeyaAYAY-YAY-YAYYYYYYYYYYYs” to a minimum.