Category: Christmas Shit

Open Post: Hosted By Camila Cabello Making Fun Of Herself For How She Pronounces “Christmas”

November 23, 2022 / Posted by:

I guess all that making out with Shawn Mendes in front of the paparazzi really did a number on Camila Cabello‘s tongue dexterity because when she covered I’ll Be Home For Christmas last year, people were a bit confused by how she was pronouncing the holiday’s name as though she’s a toddler with a burnt tongue who just had dental surgery. Not one to shy from attention, Camila leaned in and poked fun at her own inability to say Christmas, getting over 2 million likes on TikTok.

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Open Post: Hosted By The First Photos Of Lindsay Lohan’s Netflix Christmas Movie

October 4, 2022 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan is returning to the big screen (well, only if your TV is huge). Last year, Lilo shot a Netflix movie called Falling for Christmas. It’s a Hallmark-esque holiday flick co-starring Chord Overstreet. Yesterday was October 3, aka Mean Girls Day (it’s the day Aaron Samuels asks Cady what day it was), and marketing guru Lindsay celebrated by posting the Falling for Christmas poster to her Instagram. She captioned it, “it’s October 3rd. now mark your calendars for November 10th.” Netflix also dropped a bunch of stills from the film. Get in losers, we’re going to watch 36-year-old Lilo make her millionth comeback (this time in gigantic sleeves puffier than her lips!)!

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Open Post: Hosted By The Naked Santa Run

December 15, 2021 / Posted by:

UPI says that over the weekend, more than 40 runners braved the cold to participate in the 18th annual Naked Santa Run, in Budapest, Hungary. Now, I know you’re closely examining the header pic for sugar plums and nutcrackers, but, unfortunately, the Naked Santa Run doesn’t feature any actual nudity. It’s mostly just sexy lil’ outfits, bathing suits, and the odd Speedo. But everybody, no exceptions, must wear a Santa hat on their head. On their head head, you sickos!

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Open Post: Hosted By New Hampshire’s Reindeer Burglar

December 2, 2021 / Posted by:

New Hampshirites! Please be on the lookout for a suspect wanted in a break-and-enter at an elementary school in Barnstead. Suspect is a male reindeer with one antler; the other antler was left at the scene of the crime. Suspect broke in through a window at noon on Sunday (thank God the kids weren’t there) and escaped through a second window before he could be captured by cops and firefighters. The Barnstead Police Department alleges that one of their officers heard a voice in the distance yell, “On Dancer!”, but I’m gonna chalk that up to typical cop bullshit. Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By The Pizza Hut Christmas Tree Topper

November 23, 2021 / Posted by:

Like it or not, the Christmas season is here. This means it’s time for the annual knock-down-drag-out fight about what goes on top of the Christmas tree. Your mom wants an angel, your dad wants a star, and dear grandmama wants an old-timey Father Christmas. What’s a good Christian family to do? Enter the Pizza Hut Christmas tree topper, modeled after the restaurant’s iconic stained-glass light fixtures that used to hang over each booth. Yay! The holidays are saved! I can’t wait to get spend top dollar on this item and– Excuse me?! The Pizza Hut tree topper isn’t for sale? Then why is it featured in commercials and on the Holiday Hut Shop website? Welp, Christmas is back to being ruined. Burn the tree! Continue reading

Tori Spelling Says That Dean McDermott Was Absent From The Family Christmas Card Because He Was Filming In Canada

November 23, 2021 / Posted by:

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott have been plagued by rumors of an impending divorce for so long, and the latest rumor is that Tori feels “trapped” in her marriage to Dean, due to the fact that they have five kids together and money is a little too tight to be blowing a massive chunk on a divorce battle and subsequent support payments. Tori is probably writing a letter to Santa Claus asking if he’s able to stuff a finalized divorce into her stocking, and a magic box of cash to cover any spousal support payments to be left under the tree. And when it came time to publish the ol’ family Christmas card, Dean was nowhere to be seen. But! That’s not because Tori kicked him off the card like she’s evicted him out of her bedroom so many times before. She says there’s nothing shady or suspicious about it, Dean was just working in Canada.

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