Category: Madonna
Open Post: Hosted By 50 Cent Trolling Madonna On Instagram Again
When 50 Cent first burst onto the scene in the early 2000s, he was probably most known as a hardened rapper who’d endured several gunshot wounds and lived the fast life. Today, he’s more known for claiming bankruptcy while posing with stacks of money, saying people owe him money, collecting that money, trolling other famous people (and even his own son), and igniting feuds–usually by shooting off his fast Instagram fingers. If Statler & Waldorf and Regina George had a miserly, extra-bitchy lovechild, it would be 50 Cent. In his most recent example of “pay attention to me,” he poked fun at some of Madonna’s photos again, after apologizing to her for the same behavior just a few months ago.
Madonna Was Blocked From Going On Instagram Live
Yesterday Madonna announced that she’d be going on Instagram Live later that evening. The 63-year-old Bratz Doll SEXagenerian was planning a live chat with Sickick, a DJ she collaborated with on her latest “Frozen” remix, “Frozen on Fire”. All the Madonna die-hards cleared their very busy schedules, busted out the rosé, and took their landlines off the hook. But when 8 pm PT/11 pm EST rolled around, Madonna and Sickick were nowhere to be found. A couple of hours later, Madonna posted some videos explaining the situation: she wasn’t flaky, she was blocked! Instagram wouldn’t let her go live. Censorship! Suppression! Thought control! Quick, call up Diablo Cody (maybe) so we can add this latest injustice to Madge’s biopic! Continue reading
Madonna Took To Twitter To Beg The Pope For A Meeting
Madonna has some very important matters on her mind, and the only person she can properly discuss then with is Pope Francis. So she took to Twitter to beg for a meeting with His Holiness. Madge is well aware she’s one of the Catholic Church’s least favorite female music stars (it’s her, Sinead O’Connor, and that nun-killer Katy Perry), but tweets that she thinks it’s unfair that she’s (allegedly) been ex-communicated three times.
Madonna And Her Boy Toy Have Reportedly Broken Up After Three Years Together
That dissonant trap beat you hear is the End of Watch call coming from all of Madonna‘s backup dancers, current and of yore, signaling to the universe that Ahlamalik Williams’ time as Madonna’s primary boy toy, has allegedly come to an end. According to The Sun, Madonna and her former backup dancer, Ahlamalik, have broken up, citing her “busy social life” as a primary cause. So a moment of silence, please. Ahlamalik served his duties with dignity and aplomb and will be rewarded in the afterlife with “a lucrative deal with fashion designer Stella McCartney.” Shhh! I said SILENCE!
Open Post: Hosted By Madonna’s Latest Creepy TikTok
Oh cool, a new sleep paralysis demon just dropped! You can check it out on Madonna’s TikTok page. The entity has waxy, almost human-like skin, half-closed eyes, bulbous lips, and the ability to suck the youth out of any member of Gen-Z who watches the whole video. Not sure why the demon premiered on Madge’s TikTok, but– wait, that’s MADONNA?! Continue reading
The Audition Process For The Role Of Madonna In Her Biopic Is Reportedly “Grueling”
As we know, Madonna is currently working on her own biopic for Universal Pictures with Madge herself directing and co-writing it. Madge wrote the first draft with Diablo Cody (who reportedly quit that bitch) and is now reportedly working with screenwriter Erin Wilson on the script. Auditions are currently happening to find the lucky actress who will be screamed at by Madonna for not doing it right play Madonna in the movie. And sources say that the process is pretty much as insane as you’d expect and one person called it “grueling.” Do the auditioning actresses have to pretend that Hard Candy is a good album? Brutal!