That dissonant trap beat you hear is the End of Watch call coming from all of Madonna‘s backup dancers, current and of yore, signaling to the universe that Ahlamalik Williams’ time as Madonna’s primary boy toy, has allegedly come to an end. According to The Sun, Madonna and her former backup dancer, Ahlamalik, have broken up, citing her “busy social life” as a primary cause. So a moment of silence, please. Ahlamalik served his duties with dignity and aplomb and will be rewarded in the afterlife with “a lucrative deal with fashion designer Stella McCartney.” Shhh! I said SILENCE!
We always like to take reporting from The Sun with several flakes of premium kosher salt, but an independently conducted Instagram investigation revealed that this is probably true. As The Sun reports:
QUEEN of pop Madonna has split from her toyboy boyfriend Ahlamalik Williams after three years together.
The superstar, 63, has told friends she is single again after deciding things were not working out with the American dancer, 28.
The couple — who have a 35-year age gap — started dating in 2019 and Madonna regularly shared photos of him on social media.
But they have not been seen together since January and friends say they amicably decided to separate.
A source said: “Madonna has thrown herself into a busy social life and has been seeing her friends and family after the split.
“She has a packed schedule, working on her upcoming biopic, new music and looking after her family.
How does she do it!?!? No really, what’s her secret?
The Sun adds that the split was amicable and that “there’s a lot of love but for now they have decided to separate.” Ahlamalik reportedly moved out of her home after having “spent months together on tour and in lockdown.” Again, how does she do it!? Madonna should be 63 by now, given her year of birth. But you can’t fool me.
There’s no way this woman is 63! But the problem with living that #BenjaminButtonLyfe, is that sooner or later, you have to watch as your loved ones grow saggy and age, while you grow only more radiant and youthful. When she started dating Ahlamalik, who is 35 years her junior, she looked 35 years his senior. However, as you can clearly see, Madonna is now roughly the same age as Ahlamalik was when they first met. And in the 3 years they were together, he’s transformed into a wizened and grizzled 28-year-old, whereas Modonana has transformed into a brand-new-in-box Bratz Doll. Now tell me, how’s she gonna look trotting around with an old man? She’s Madonna for christ’s sake! What else can she do but scrap the relationship and start over from scratch? She will need the help of a strong young man by her side as she enters her infancy. Those diapers aren’t going to change themselves!